MagickGAL 4/27/17 MagickGAL 4/27/17

Spirituality VS Sexuality: What Do You Do When Your Boyfriend Leaves You For Jesus

By Macie R.

“Two people on fire for the lord is always better than one.”

*Names have been changed*

I was pretty set on what I was going to talk about as my first post. you know, Friday night cocktails, how much waxing does your vagina really need, giving yourself some TLC because lord knows no one else is, but alas here I am with a totally off the wall topic.

I was recently involved in a phone conversation (which I usually avoid at all costs because I mean.. Who doesn’t want to text?) with a close pal and he (John) proceeded to disclose some information regarding his ONE YEAR relationship. Emphasis on the ONE YEAR because that’s pretty freaking magical to make it to these days and it will come into play in a bit. My friend is a gay man (yes GAY , and I’m also a gay woman for those reading this) so yes, this conversation and probably many to follow, are going to focus around a homosexual relationship, so brace yourself conservatives of the world! Any-who, he is dating this fellow (Skylar) whom from what I understand, is quite a lovely lad.

Like I said, it’s been ONE YEAR, why would John stick around if Skylar wasn’t the cats pajamas? Right? Well, here’s the catch ladies and gents, THEY HAVE OPPOSITE RELIGIOUS BELIEFS. Who’d a thunk it? Something most people (this includes all orientations) fail to consider or address when entering a new relationship. You’re too “in love” to talk about God right? Too busy in the honey moon phase to discuss whether or not you can be supportive of each others views. Well, Skylar is a Christian and believes that sexual activity before marriage is something to not indulge in.. Now, people, that would be acceptable and completely understandable had they actually stuck to it after all of this time. But after ONE YEAR, shouldn’t this want of celibacy have been maybe…talked about? NOPE. Skylar is just now wanting to stick to his guns and cut off all sexual acts. No big deal, right? What’s the problem there?

Well people, it wouldn’t be if he had actually wanted John to be a part of that journey.. He wants to handle this one “solo”. (Yes, I was just singing to the song solo as I typed that, I hope you were too.)Now John is what you’d call a spiritual being, he is not necessarily tied to any certain religion yada yada yada. But, that doesn’t mean he isn’t supportive and loving of Skylar’s walk with God. Clearly, John was 100% juicy juice on board with Skylar about taking steps back physically. Yet, it was a walk Skylar wanted to walk alone. Sad right? How can after ONE YEAR you wouldn’t want to share that journey of religion with someone who is basically standing there, arms open, saying BRING IT ON BABE!

“You’re too “in love” to talk about God right? “

So all of that led me to this question, can two people learn to mesh religion? Like truly collide together and it be truly accepted by both parties? If one person is willing to dive head first and learn about your ways and your families ways, shouldn’t that be considered a damn blessing? Do you think your faith could actually strengthen if your partner was dabbling in it with you? Couldn’t you both grow individually and as a UNIT? Perhaps I’m bat shit crazy, but I think two people on fire for the lord is always better than one. (Yes I said bat shit in a religious post…bite me)

My point of this article? Beats me, honestly. I have yet to experience an opposite religious view with my counter part. But I do think if you’re blessed enough to have a partner who is on your team, who loves you for all of your shades, who is standing right fucking there begging you to let them into your spiritual world, let them! How could curiosity in your relationship with anything ever be a bad thing? How could allowing your loved one entrance into that part of you, be such a negative?

Well, that’s all folks. I will leave you with this. Grab tight to your lovers roots, grab tight to your faithful foundation and grow like trees.

Kirsten Fagin 4/27/17 Kirsten Fagin 4/27/17

Why I Chose To Not Have A Sexual Identity

By Kirsten F.

“I chose to be limitless when it comes to defining my relationships. “

When I was a teenager I would try to force myself to fit into different categories. My self identity came with a checklist of adolescent ideals that I felt fit me at the time. I claimed the emo/scene notch on the list proudly, and felt as if that was who I was, until it wasn’t. I attempted to become urban, preppy, and a list of other things when it pertained to social status. Those tags became how I presented myself to people and chose to express the definitions of those categories freely.

My teenage years were spent throwing myself into different lifestyles, and figuring out my sexual identity was a huge part of that. I was heterosexual, a lesbian, questioning, bi-sexual which then lead me to being pansexual, queer and eventually where I am now. This very moment, where I have decided to not identify as anything at all (actually I chose to live this way a long time ago). I am done with the labeling of my relationships with others, and I say this because I don’t just like one specific type of person. Sexuality isn’t black or white for me, and to be brutally honest it isn’t the grey area either. My views on sexuality and sexual fluidity form a galactic type of scenario inside of my mind.

In my world my attraction to others isn’t based of off genitalia or what they choose to describe themselves as. My attraction to other humans comes from the uniqueness that person has within. It’s about who they are internally, and the mental connection that we have. It is difficult being a person with no chosen identifier, simply because a lot of times others don’t understand. I am not homosexual, nor heterosexual, nor am I any other label that falls underneath the umbrella of sexual identity. I identify as a woman, a writer, black, and a number of other things, however when it comes to relationships and dating… I had no way of figuring that out, nor do I ever want to. I’ve dated and am very open to pretty much anything that I deem fitting. I’ve had my fair share of conversations about being confused and have even had people demand that I identify myself so that they will feel more comfortable.

It doesn’t work like that though, I can’t just place myself into a box because society says I have to. How dishonest would I be if I just claimed to be someone that I am not, nor have no desire to be. Throughout the phases in my life I’ve transformed, and become another (albeit a much better) version of myself. I think of my journey to self discovery, and how being apart of those different subsections of sexuality helped me figure out what or who I liked. There are women that I would marry if they asked me (hello Zoey Kravitz) and there are also men who I would love on if they came my way. However there are also gender-less folks, and those who are like me who have no set sexual preference that I am into.

I once thought that I was a lesbian, a full blown rainbow wearing, hardcore lesbian… and then I dated a boy. Which lead me back to the bisexual route that I had left for lesbian land. I then decided one day that I felt like I could check more attributes off under the Pansexual subsection of the LGBTQ+ community. Until one day that wasn’t enough anymore, I didn’t fit the description under any of them. Confusion and shame set in, and I questioned who I was entirely, if I couldn’t choose a sexual identity than what am I supposed to be? How am I supposed to tell people that having a vagina or a penis isn’t a requirement for my natural attraction to another human?

Labeling myself and my attractions caused me to exclude others, I felt as if when I was underneath the rules of a specific label I was missing out elsewhere. I had to stop myself from liking someone because they weren’t apart of my specific grouping. How could I limit myself in such a way? Relationships come in all styles and in the form of different people. Which is why I chose this, I chose to be limitless when it comes to defining my relationships. I choose to be as free as a bird, because love is everything. I choose to be a harbor of gender free love, and I’m okay with that. I am who I am, and have no desire to ever change that part of me.

Kirsten Fagin 4/16/17 Kirsten Fagin 4/16/17

Here's A List of Fictional Queer Women Who Love Each Other.

by Kirsten F.

There's more to lady loving representation than the women on The L Word. No disrespect to a classic (I'm an Alice!) like The L Word, but there have been other women who represent what good lesbian love looks like!

I've compiled a list of *MY* favorite beautiful, carefree, fictional lady loving relationships that helped me during my time of coming out, and still make me smile when they come across my Television screen!

1. Spencer & Ashley aka "Spashley"

If you were like me then you were OD obsessed with South of Nowhere on the greatest TV station The-N (RIP). Spencer and Ashley had their share of fights, but those two gals truly loved one another... Even when the drama got to be too much. I'm almost certain Spashley sparked my lady loving interest, and if it wasn't them then it was my obsession with "All The Things She Said" by TATU. If you've never seen South of Nowhere I suggest you give it a chance! It only had a few seasons, BUT it's totally worth it!

2. Carmen & Shane (The L Word)

Let's be real, you're still pissed that Shane left Carmen at the alter. Let's be real again... You're still trying to find a bae to play "too hot" with ;). No matter how you felt about the brooding, womanizer that is Shane, you can't deny that her and Carmen were perfect for each other. Although, we should overlook the fact that they both dated that god awful Jenny. Even though they ended on such a terrible note, Carmen brought the best out of Shane.

3. Alice & Tasha (The L Word)

The creator of "The Chart" finally got herself a boo! Alice and Tasha were an odd pair to say the least. Through Alice's need to be in the spotlight, and Tasha's military background those two butted heads a lot. However, even in the midst of Tasha dealing with the DADT, and Alice outing people on purpose. These two lovebirds are a match made in lesbian heaven.

4. Poussey & Soso (Orange Is The New Black)

*sings in the arms of an angel*

I'm still mad at how their love story ends, and I'm still contemplating boycotting this show. Anyway, who doesn't love a good prison love story that doesn't include Piper and Donna from That 70's Show! Poussey and Soso's short lived romance was one for the books, they captivated our hearts during a prison outbreak. Their love will last a lifetime, and we will forever cherish them!

5. Naomi & Emily (Skins UK)

Oh Skins, such a classic show for the wild child's of the world. Naomi and Emily truly brought nothing but pure joy into our lives. As any seasoned Lesbian would know coming out in high school can be tough! Thankfully their love was strong, and they had each other to get through the rough patches. Unfortunately their love story ended in a tragic way, Naomi died of cancer in the series finale and well... I wept uncontrollably for days. However, these two ladies are a fan favorite in my book!

6. Lena & Stef (The Fosters)

Have you ever loved a married couple more than Lena and Stef? Truly these two are like my favorite magical beings of love and I can't get enough of them! Not only are they badass professional women, they're badass mom's as well. They teach their kids to be decent humans *cough* (except for Callie who can't seem to get it together) *cough*. If you haven't done yourself a favor and watched the hit drama that is The Fosters, do it right now! It's on Netflix so you can binge while you skip out on all the work you have to do!

7. Brittany & Santana (Glee)

GLEE!

Brittany and Santana were the unlikely pair that actually ended up making sense. Through all of their ups and downs (like that iconic slap that Satana delivered to Finn because she thought he outed her), to falling even more in love each and every episode. Nothing says a good high school experience like a lady love story.

8. Cricket & Jaycee (Hart of Dixie)

If you were as obsessed with this show as I was, then Cricket being a lesbian was a total shocker for you too! Let's be real, we ALL just knew her hubby Stanley was the closeted one, but we were wrong! Goes to show you that you really can't judge a book by its cover and sexuality, gender, and preference don't actually go hand in hand.

Did I forget a couple on this list? Leave a comment on who YOUR favorite fictional lesbian couple in the comments below!