Life at The Pines
By Kirsten F.
“We call it fun, but you may call it madness”
Via Google
started going to sleepover summer camp at age 6, I was a tiny little girl with box braids and her pooh bear under her arm. Walking hand in hand with her aunt to the covered tent that she would sleep in that week. I didn’t know then that going away every summer was going to become my favorite childhood memory. I went to summer camp every year after that, two or three weeks at a time I’d be living it up in the wilderness. Singing songs about how tan Tarzan was, and how yodeling from a mountain top was a go to tune. Doing dance moves to the “Princess Pat” and running around lunch tables because you had bad manners. I grew to love those tents as my own home, the dirt paths and milk machine that had a chocolate option. There was the time where I thought there was a snake in my bed, but it was really my braid that came out. The first time I canoed I was terrified, but the following summer I was laid out on a paddle boat floating and laughing the afternoon away. My summer at Camp Pine Valley was the best, I met lifelong friends and I was such a regular that when I became a counselor one of my camp photos was hanging up in the office.
I was nervous applying to be a counselor, even though I had done it before for another organization, it was something about The Girl Scouts that made me nervous. I had been a part of this organization what felt like my whole life. I was also going through a very emotional time back then. I had never had a job before and to be honest mentally I was a mess, but God knew I needed a push and that’s what was presented to me. So I went to the interview and found out it was a group interview, so I put on my fake brave face and crushed it. I got offered the job at my home camp good ole’ Pine Valley. I packed up my things and headed towards the woods, driving down that dirt road brought back so many memories. It felt like I was that 6 year old girl again, excited for what was to come. I stepped out of my mothers car and instantly knew how to get all over that camp, it was as if I never left. I was ready for training week, and had previously spent the week at the ropes course getting trained. I was excited to meet my fellow counselors and form a family. Which did happen and I still wish them all well.
“I grew to love those tents as my own home, the dirt paths and milk machine that had a chocolate option.”
That summer for me was transforming for one reason, it made me grow up. I learned that crying about things isn’t going to change them . I learned that I in fact do not know everything, and that I need to check myself every once in awhile. I also learned that I was quit the chatty Cathy and should learn when to shut up. That experience as a counselor didn’t end with great times, but it ended with a great lesson. That summer also taught me that it doesn’t matter what age you are, you can still change a life. Those girls became my family, some like little sisters in a way, and they definitely influenced me to be a better version of myself. I spent that summer doing crafts, painting nails (and feet which I seriously despised), I learned how to make a mean S’maco and build a fire with the best of them. I played games like big booty, and my pony, I cried at the end of camp fires, and sang barges while our candles floated across the lake. It was moments like those starry nights that reminded me why I loved camp so much as a kid. Because of the traditions, and how it always smelt like sunscreen and bug spray in the dining hall. How you never knew what kind of animal you’d meet on the trails, or how many times your hands would be bright pink from tye-dying T-shirts.
The summers spent at The Pines are forever etched into my memories, those silly songs still find their way out of my mouth while I wash dishes, the friends made there are always on my mind, and the counselor’s who helped change my life, taught me how to do the same. I may not have been the super counselor that I was in my head, but I know for sure that the terrified 19 year old was no longer around at the end.
“And when we are gone you’ll be singing our song.”
Leaving Home & Not Looking Back
By Kirsten F.
“I found God in the stars on those long nights, and I found adventure in Walmart parking lots.”
Via Tumblr
2016 has become the year of change for me, it has become one of the most significant years in my life and it just started. I’ve always been one of those people who never really knew what direction she wanted to go in. “Free spirit” is the phrase most used to describe me and my way of living. The beginning of this year started with my 24th birthday, me packing up my car, and moving across the country to Washington state. Yes, I know that sounds absolutely insane but sometimes life throws you in directions that you never even thought about.
January 30, 2016 became a date that began what I call “The Kirsten spiritual journey”. I packed up my little PT Cruiser and hit the open road with one of my friends. I had never driven further than and hour away and now I was making a trek across most of America. I was terrified, but content with the fact that I was leaving, because I knew it was time for me to get out of my small town. So I said goodbye to my family and friends, and drove 14 hours to Texas where I took my first pit stop on this week long excursion. The thing I remember most about Texas was thinking that I was losing my mind because that state was massive. Honestly everything really is bigger in Texas, and they have no trees. Leaving Texas the following day was when I think my nerves kicked in, I was going to be in my car for three whole days traveling to San Francisco, California.
The second part of my trip was where I was most tested, God really threw life at me just to see if I could handle it. Which I’ll admit at times I didn’t think I could, but I did. I over came hitting tumbleweeds, and dirt storms, I over came a blizzard and driving up rocky mountains in New Mexico. I overcame a panic attack mid driving through a blizzard, because let’s be real… I’m from GA we don’t have real snow. I overcame the fear in the back of my mind trying to tell me that I had made a mistake. That leaving was the worst idea I’ve ever had and that I should turn back now. It was then that I realized my own strength, I realized that the biggest demon in my life was fear and I refused to have a relationship with it any longer. I found happiness and peace during that time as well. Driving on empty roads with the sun shining and my car full of snacks and good tunes. I found myself feeling connected to the desert sky and the dirt covered ground. I found God in the stars on those long nights, and I found adventure in Walmart parking lots. I had never seen windmills, ranches, the rocky’s or even an In ‘N’ Out in real life before. I got excited seeing a prairie dog run around behind a QuickTrip in Arizona, and screamed when I saw the sign pointing to L.A. blasting Mayday Parade’s “Jamie All Over” as I headed to my new life.
Via Tumblr
Nothing prepared me for California, the state that I had longed to see and be apart of. Driving through the valley and eating my first In ‘N’ Out burger (animal style of course). Seeing L.A. at night, and crying because I finally saw something on my bucket list. We slept in a hospital ER parking lot and almost died because of the food we ate. We left San Bernardino and hit the road to San Francisco at 2AM. I drove past forest fires, and could barely breathe due to high altitude of those Californian roads. We made pit stops at gas stations and took pictures of the sun rising over the vineyards. I played my music loud and my windows rolled down tossing out sunflower seeds and crumbs that fell on my lap. I didn’t know then that I was also heading on my way to be tested again. I’m terrified of bridges over water, I’ve had an irrational fear of falling to my death since I was a kid. However, that’s exactly what I drove over in SF, The Bay Bridge looked intimidating, but something in me knew that I had to conquer that fear. It was when I was half way over it, that I realized that the ONLY way to get over your fears is to do them. I wandered the streets of San Francisco with my friends and ate pizza that tasted like it came straight from heaven. I shopped and laughed, I realized that I had in fact just driven from coast to coast and I had never felt more alive.
It really didn’t hit me that I was actually gone until I made it to Washington. We left San Francisco and headed north, we drove through mountains and valleys, we drove over lakes and stopped to get gas at a station in Oregon with a man who wore all cameo and laughed when I didn’t know that in Oregon you don’t pump your own gas. We ate our weight in snacks, and those 11 hours from California to Washington seemed like a breeze compared to the three days we spent traveling from Texas to California. Moving to Washington has done more for me than Georgia ever did in my 24 years on this planet. I found myself in this small community, I found God in the mountain outside of my new bedroom window, and I found out that I am more than what I thought I once was. I left the old me in Georgia, the scared, confused, lonely version of myself. She had to stay behind because who I am now is so much better. I lost my head in San Francisco, I found myself in the desert and I became who I am supposed to be in Washington.
“I played my music loud and my windows rolled down tossing out sunflower seeds and crumbs that fell on my lap.”
Nothing can compare to knowing who you are, and becoming who you are meant to be. My advice to you is this, you don’t have to leave home if you don’t want to. Nor do you have to travel far to find who you are. All you have to do is know yourself and know that what you’re destined for is nothing short of greatness.