Kirsten Fagin 12/12/17 Kirsten Fagin 12/12/17

Why Transparency In Relationships Should Be The Next Trend

by Kirsten Renee

Let me kick this off with this one disclaimer, I am a very self centered and detached young woman. I mind my business, I build my business and for the most part I keep to myself. So with that being out there; it's difficult for me to connect with folks on a romantic level sometimes. I think of myself as the millennial Samantha Jones mixed with Ginger Foutley and Khadijah James. I am a loud mouthed, sexually fluid, non exclusive, emotionally honest writer who at times (read: all the time) is a filthy scoundrel. That in itself makes me a wildcard in the dating world,

Relationships have NEVER been my forte, growing up I had adolescent flings, and unrealistic love but that's normal. In my adulthood I haven't given relationships much thought, I see connections with people as a unfair expectation of what I'm supposed to do. I have very strict rules when it comes to dating me that I have ZERO plans on changing.

Don't waste my time.
Communication is EVERYTHING to me.
I'm not about to chase your stupid ass.
Keep my creative side intrigued.

I don't ask for much, I don't ask that you even spend all of your time with me. Why is it so hard to find companions that can understand those things? It's annoying to me that I'm extremely upfront and honest about who I am to people when we meet. Yet I've learned over the years, through countless situationships and relationships that people are never who they say they are. Ulterior motives is what every person seems to have, and for that I have to call bullshit. If you're going to pursue someone be fucking honest about who you are up front. I feel like our entire generation of dating adults treats dating and relationships like a fucking tinder bio. Stop giving folks your dating resume full of lies and let people actually SEE the real you. We treat dating as if we're applying for a job, which in a way we are. However, there are people like myself who prefer to know off top what kind of deal they're getting into.

I'm quick to quit a space that no longer serves my spirit, which means I will easily quit a partner for not fulfilling me. Does that make me a bitch? Maybe? Probably, but I'm okay with that. I'm a non monogamous type of chick, I have different relationships with different individuals. However the rules still apply; The vibe must be right, the conversation has to be real, and my creativity has to be fed. Communicating is a big part of that, and at this point I wonder if the rest of the 20 somethings know that. From personal experience it just seems like everyone is out to play a role, and I'm just not with the shits like that. Just talk to each other, be OPEN and HONEST about your intentions, explain how you love and let people know how you like to be loved.

It's interesting to me that the realest of the real have the most to hide when it comes to emotions and human to human contact. Am I detached yes, but in a way that I am still able to love deeply. I am detached from the nonsense that this world brings because I choose to live in the world that I created for myself. Emotionally I am as transparent as a freshly windexed window, and I prefer my partners be the same way. In my older years I have chosen to embrace my feelings and love language to their fullest potential. I honor the way I love in a way that is full of grace and purpose. Which is why I am so frustrated with dating, why is it so hard for grown ass people to be honest about their feelings?

Relationships don't have to be hard, and they don't have to follow this strict guideline that has been taught to us. Just listen to your partner(s)! Pay attention to what potential bae's tell you, the first few weeks of a situationship/relationship are the MOST important. That's when you lay the groundwork and figure out if you and this person are compatible. The problem with millennial dating is that no one is listening, everyone is just on the move all the time. When is the last time you asked your partner what they wanted out of a relationship? That question doesn't just pertain to romantic partnerships either, ask everyone in your life about what they want out of a relationship with you.

It's time we start getting serious about the type of energy we surround ourself with, and how we allow folks to treat us. An open discussion can go far, because by doing that you're telling people that you have expectations (WHICH EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE!). You have to be able to open up the lines of communication because if not, you're going to forever find yourself in a predicament with folks who think it's okay to not play by your rules. Don't settle for less than what you feel like you deserve. Compromising your OWN rules just to appease others isn't a look, and it's something that can be easily fixed. What are your personal rules that you feel you've allowed to people to break at your expense? Figure that out, and then start making the conscious choice of checking folks.

Transparency from the start will save you AND your partners a lot of trouble later on down the road. Relationships don't HAVE to be complicated, life isn't always a fucking game, and at the end of the day. . . Always put yourself first.

peace and blessings.

Kirsten Fagin 4/27/17 Kirsten Fagin 4/27/17

Who Said Being In Love With Your Best Gal Is A Bad Thing

By Kirsten F.

Your best friend is your person, and we all have that one friend who we’re basically married to. You know that friend who can call you while they’re taking a poop. We decided to create a list of gifs to showcase our love for our best friends!

1. Who else is going to act wild in public with you?

nothing says your the ultimate best friends like acting like you’ve lost your minds together while a room full of people stare at you.

2. Only your BFF will appreciate your hookup stories.

There's levels to friendship and your BFF is the only one who will truly appreciate your ho stories. She's the one who'll throw you a party after a one night stand, and she'll be the one to pretend to be your lesbian lover at the bar.

3. You automatically get VIP friend privileges.

Nothing beats going out with your BFF and their other friends and staking claim over your spot. Is it petty? SURE, but you’ve got to let folks know that there is only one VIP spot, and it’s already taken by YOU! Which means the front seat in their car is always yours!

4. You make other people uncomfortable when you talk.

No one ever understands friendships that are the epitome of close. So obviously you and your BFF are going to get side eyes whenever you speak to one another. Why can’t I just tell my best girl how gorgeous she is, without someone making it into something it’s not?

5. You will do ANYTHING for your BFF.

Your BFF is more than just your friend, they’re your better half… Your person. When you and your pal are on that level there is nothing that you won’t do for each other. The love is so strong that you wouldn’t care if they puked on you, because they drank too much. Just hold their hair back and force water down their throat.

6. Your BFF will always keep it real with you.

Who doesn’t want a friend that will always tell them the truth? That’s what friendship is right, loving people for who they are even when they mess up. Your BFF is the person who will call you on you BS, and not apologize for it. You can say the most honest things to one another, and that’s because you love each other enough to know who the other person is.

7. You never forget to remind them that they are stuck with you.

nce you’ve reached the ultimate BFF level, you can’t get rid of each other. No matter how often you want to push them over, they’re your person. You wouldn’t want to go through this life with any other human except them.