Four Books You Need to Have on Your Fall Reading List.

by Emery W. 

September is all about back-to-school and prepping for Fall. So ,of course our reading list has to reflect the same thing! Here are some great reads with messages of embracing your inner magick, and getting hyped for the season of the witch. 

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han 

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past few weeks; Netflix released a new original film titled, To All the Boys I Loved Before based on the novel by the same name. The novel follows Lara Jean, and how she handles the aftermath of when secret love letters she’d written to her former crushes actually get sent out to their (un)intended recipients. The film does a great job depicting the thoughts, feelings, and fears of any young woman who has experienced unrequited love. Not to mention, introduced us to our new #MCE Noah Centineo. However, everyone knows the book is always better than the movie so get yourself a copy ASAP. 

You can purchase the "To All The Boys" series HERE

 

 

Inner Witch by Gabriela Herstik

Are you a novice looking to really dig in, and start learning about your inner Goddess and the power she truly holds? Take my advice, skip the line at Sephora, and pick up this must-read. Inner Witch contains any and everything you’ll need to know about starting your journey into your craft, and it’s written by one of my favorite modern-day magickgals, Gabriela Hastik.  

You can Purchase "Inner Witch" HERE

 

 

Black Klansmen by Ron Stallworth

Ah, who doesn’t love a good ol’ Spike Lee joint? The film BlackKklansmen is actually based on a true story. Black Klansmen is a memoir by Ron Stallworth, a former New York City police officer who goes undercover to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan. If you’re like me, and love comparing and contrasting the difference between page and screen, this is a must-read. 

You can grab a copy of "Black Klansmen" HERE

 

 

UNFU*CK YOURSELF by Gary John Bishop

This book has been on my To-Read List for a while now. Sometimes you need to take a step back, and remind yourself that you’ve just got to get out of your own head. Self-help is sometimes the best kind of help to get back to your, well, self. So why not do it with a good book?

Don't forget to get a copy of "UnFu*k Yourself" HERE

So if you’re looking for a way to wind down from all of the stresses of back-to-school shopping, form move-ins, or looking to stock up on some good reads for this cooler weather we’re about to start getting, I suggest you pick up one (or all) if these. 

How a Rom-Com Helped Me Heal | An Ode to "To All The Boys I've Loved Before".

Image via Medium 

by Kirsten Renee

I'm a romantic comedy fanatic, I've watched all the classics, and even some that no one else has heard of. Rom-Com's have always been a form of escape for me, falling in love with a stranger, being the one for someone, or even forbidden love all have captivated my interest since I was young. As a child my diary held my deepest fantasies and dreams, often starring whatever boy my little heart had a crush on at the time. As I got older, the leading person changed, but those fantasies never went away... nor did my need to write them down.  I went from writing in my diary to writing notes to my heart's desire.  Going out on a limb, and hoping that they would return my affection. That never happened though, I usually was met with a hard dose of reality and legit embarrassment. Yet that never stopped me from writing notes or being overly hopeful that one day I would find my own rom-com partner. 

Well into my teen years where not much happened, but things got a little spicy at times. I realized that romantic comedies were not the best "How To" when it came to dating, and I was actually doing more harm than good to my own heart. My movie watching turned into me reading romance centered novels, thinking that I would one day find the Jasper to my Alice. Let's be real, they were the real power couple of the Twilight series.  Don't get me wrong, I would still watch movies about tragic love all the time, and still silently wished I was in them. 

At some point, adolescents turned into adulthood and that's where shit got really funky. While most of my peers went off to school and found new lovers and friends.  I was off at a local college, nursing a very wounded heart and hoping that I would just be invisible to everyone. It's weird how I went from craving the attention of others, to wishing I could be swallowed up by the floor. Heartache does that to you, and sometimes we don't realize the blessings that come out of a breakup.  

Recently, I've been anticipating the arrival of Netflix's new Romantic Comedy dedicated to teenaged love. "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" caught my eye not only because of the diverse cast but because of the plot. Girl writes love letters (sounds familiar?), letters get sent out, and suddenly she's faced head-on with the consequences of her hearts desires. I sat down and watched it with my best friend and by the end I was sobbing. How did these people expose me like this? I quickly added this movie to my list of favorites and spent the next day reading both books (reading the third one currently!) that it was based on. Reading the books is what really broke down things that I hadn't really noticed that I still held on to. Sure, there were major differences but the gist was the same. . . How do you fantasize about love, but run away when it's in your face?  

See the older I've gotten the more cynical I've become and you would think that for someone who loves love as much as I do I wouldn't be. However, it seems that relationships aren't something that IRL me can handle. The idea of loving someone and allowing them to love me back actually scares the shit out of me.  Like are you serious? What's wrong with me? Why am I like this? 

image via Buzzfeed

It wasn't until I saw and read about LJ and Peter's relationship that I realized "damn girl, you're too young to be this cynical"! Author Jenny Han literally brought my deepest secrets into the light and used my younger self to make me face them. Fifteen years old me was so triggered by watching the movie that I had to walk out and go get a snack. I went home after I watched and decided that I needed to see it again to make sure that I wasn't losing my mind. The second time, however, brought about different feelings even though it had barely been four hours in between both viewings. This time I wasn't watching it as a younger version of myself, I was watching as me now. Which in retrospect is a hell of a lot worse, because then for the next 24 hours I devoured 2 of the 3 books, and watched the movie for the third time.  

When the realization hit me that 16-year-old LJ and 26-year-old Kirsten were the same people, emotions got heavy. Here I am, damn near thirty realizing that the world in my head is NEVER going to match the one I actually live in. Let me tell ya, making that connection felt like I got slapped by the biggest brick to the face. Here I am, a grown woman still fantasizing about the great loves she'll never have. Which could possibly still happen I'm not that naive, but it's best to not write what I want it to be. It's best to let it happen how it's supposed to without any influence from my romance-obsessed brain.  

True enough, not everything can be explained nor can I rewrite the tragedies that I've experienced. I can't take back the notes that I wrote or the embarrassment that I felt. I can't change teenaged decisions or redo the heartache's that came with it.  I can't fix any of that or alter it in any way, the only thing I can do is to recognize my heart now.  What does she want? What does she need today? How can I assist her in healing and growing simultaneously? How is she wanting to be loved? I haven't asked adult me those questions before, and maybe it's about time that I start doing just that. 

This book series and film, pushed me past comfort zones that I did't even realize I was in.  Sure the setting may be high school, but the lesson is so much bigger than that.  We don't get to make up our perfect person, nor do we decide when they come into our lives. For all you know that best friend you had on the playground when you were six, will be your first kiss at sixteen. Life is funny like that and should be enjoyed in all of its fucked up glory. 

Heal yourself in any way you need to. 

Blessed be.  

Check out "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" NETFLIX now! 

Book Review: Crank

by Emery W. 

When I was in high school, I had a best friend who (after being wrongfully sent to the town’s alternative high school during Junior year) started living her life in a downward spiral. She finally transferred back to our school, but I barely recognized who she was; she was high on marijuana most of the time, cut class, and went to raves every weekend. She’d quit doing color guard, and dropped out of honor’s classes.

Before I knew it, it was the night of our graduation, and I’d be going off to college at the end of the summer, and I had no idea what my best friend was doing.

The Fall of my freshman year at college, I picked up a thick book with an interesting cover simply titled Crank for the long bus trip to an away game. From the moment I opened the book, I felt like I was reading my best friend’s life from her eyes.

Crank by Ellen Hopkins tells the story of Kristina (who later begins referring to herself as Bree), and the events that led to her long and faithful history with hard drugs, sex, and journey to adulthood. The novel is loosely based on the life of Hopkins’ own daughter’s battle with drug addiction.

We begin the story with Kristina living in Reno with her mother, stepfather, and younger brother until she decides to visit her dead-beat father in Albuquerque. As a straight A honor roll student, Kristina didn’t delve much into the harder side of life; boys, sex, drinking, drugs, etc. Until she met Adam.

Over the span of her time with her father, Kristina (now known as Bree) becomes addicted to the same lifestyle she shares with her father.

I don’t want to give too much away, but I will tell you that this is one that I couldn’t put down. It put into perspective the thought processes of an addict, and why they do what they do, and what makes it so hard for them to stop.

The way Hopkins develops the character is unique in its own right because it is written in verse. I was confused a bit at first because I’d never read a novel in the style, but it made me yearn for more. Even though it’s a thick book, it didn’t take me long to read. I’d describe it as an absolute page-turner.

What’s great is that the book offers you the chance to both pity Kristina for her actions while simultaneously hate her for the destruction she brings to everyone important to her.

It’s classified as a YA novel, but definitely not a read for anyone who can’t handle vivid descriptions of sex, drugs, and some violence.

Ellen Hopkins has somehow managed to write a book that would make for an incredible film adaptation in the future. And this is only the first one! There are two sequels, Glass and Fallout that I urge everyone to read. If you can handle it. I’ve read quite a few of her YA novels (all which were written in verse), and continue to look forward to more. I’d rate this a solid 10/10.

Book Review: 'Grayish-Black: Poetry From The Ribs'.

by Kirsten F.

How a book about oppression, suicide, self loathing, + heartbreak taught me how to love myself a little more. 

I met the author of “Grayish-Black” back when I had big earrings and long braids. Back when my mouth was slick and my fists fast and powerful in punch.  Elijah and I clicked from the start, we found common ground in each other’s worlds, because the views weren’t so different. I got the privilege to be a test reader for his new book “Grayish-Black” which I suggest you all stop reading this, and go buy instantly! This person who prides himself on his multiple ethnicities, taste in music, and has an exceptional record in fighting for the injustices of the world. Has allowed us, the outside into his space; his mind. For as long as I have known him he has marched to the beat of his own drum, pounding out a tune that only those who are hip to his frequency can hear.  

“Grayish-Black” isn’t just a book of poems and beautiful photos, it is a piece of someone, and simultaneously a piece of yourself as well.  There are some pieces such as “Black Bottle of Cologne” that caused the usual feeling of melancholy that sits deep within crawl up from it’s spot in my chest. Springer used lines like “2 years later and I still buy the same body wash you loved, and I still spray my neck with that scent that made you kiss me.” He talks about the feeling of missing someone in such an honest way.  He does not sugar coat the fact that though it has been two years, he is still hurting.  That moving on from heartbreak often takes longer than a couple of months, it can often take years to start putting it behind you.

Elijah talks about his struggle with being accepted by both sides of his genetic codes. The “grey area” as he referred to it, stuck out to me because I too had felt lost in the shuffle of worlds of black and white. That’s what I meant by you will find a piece of yourself in his truth, the words he uses paint a mental picture of past versions of myself in my mind. As if they were all stood in a circle holding onto each other as they release their souls into the sea.  The lines of “You Loved Me Natural” sunk so deep into my own bones that it caused me to cry. I am a person who chooses not to acknowledge love and all that it brings.  “Never fake a smile for me” broke me down, because it caused me to make myself think about a person who has never been present in my life, because I’ve yet to meet them.  It’s like Elijah knows that all any of us want, especially those of us with a tormented soul is someone to be okay with just us.  He has written a world that has its own pulse, the pages are alive and flowing freely. The words and images used will cause your mind to race, your heart to ache, and your inner warrior to rise from its resting place.  

While I read each page and saw my reflection in each photo, I found myself having a conversation with my own demons. In between reading about the take down of the oppressing forces at large, and talks of relationships that had died. I ended up making peace with those demons that lurk in the shadows of my soul.  Instead of fearing them, and letting them hold me back they have began to inspire me to be the best version of myself.  Springer makes human existence almost seem easy even when it is the most complicated equation.  

“2 years later and I still buy the same body wash you loved, and I still spray my neck with that scent that made you kiss me.”

He uses his words to teach us that we can learn from those who have taken from us, those who have broken off pieces of our spirit, and from ourselves. He talks about sexuality as smoothly as a stream in a forest.  He transitions from talking to himself to talking to a distant ex lover, to talking right to those who hold power positions.  In “Grayish-Black” Elijah doesn’t shy away from topics like loving a man who fell out of love with you, wanting to know what death felt like, and slowly disappearing into your own realm.  He uses his platform to pay respect to the countless bodies of black folks who lay dead at the hands of the government. He acknowledges legends like Malcolm X and Ella Baker, who selflessly fought for our freedom.  He speaks on the different shades of brown and black that grew up in his neighborhood. I’m convinced that if you put a beat behind the words of “My Hood ain’t Free” you’d have a chart topper.  He praises Allah for the physical attributes that comes from blackness; the curve of the hips, the thickness of the lips…. He showcases the beauty that comes with the territory.

Throughout this book of poems and self manifestos Springer also let’s us know that we too can be the cause of someone else’s pain. We can be the one who pulls the strings and cuts each one slowly or all at once. We are the commanders of our fates, and the approval percentage of others will forever remain at zero, because who you are is meant specifically for you alone.  Elijah uses the feelings of happiness, sadness, longing, fear, and failure to create a world of a person that we can all connect to. He shows us that the valleys and mountains that live within us are full of pieces of who we are. Whether that be someone sunk down into a tub, someone watching the one they’ve loved for so long leave, or someone who is standing on the front line fighting for their freedom. Our insides, our spirit make up a complete masterpiece of a human, and we choose what parts of our paintings we want to share.  I loved “Grayish - Black” because it is me, and it is you. It’s a self loathing, self accepting, and self caring book about learning to love your parts, even the ones that make you want to die slowly until you disappear into nothing.

You can purchase Elijah’s book “Grayish - Black” on Amazon! // Link

Follow Elijah on his social media platforms 

Website// urbansoulatlanta.com

Twitter// @ halfatlanta

Tumblr// @feelingsandwhatnot