How a Rom-Com Helped Me Heal | An Ode to "To All The Boys I've Loved Before".

Image via Medium 

by Kirsten Renee

I'm a romantic comedy fanatic, I've watched all the classics, and even some that no one else has heard of. Rom-Com's have always been a form of escape for me, falling in love with a stranger, being the one for someone, or even forbidden love all have captivated my interest since I was young. As a child my diary held my deepest fantasies and dreams, often starring whatever boy my little heart had a crush on at the time. As I got older, the leading person changed, but those fantasies never went away... nor did my need to write them down.  I went from writing in my diary to writing notes to my heart's desire.  Going out on a limb, and hoping that they would return my affection. That never happened though, I usually was met with a hard dose of reality and legit embarrassment. Yet that never stopped me from writing notes or being overly hopeful that one day I would find my own rom-com partner. 

Well into my teen years where not much happened, but things got a little spicy at times. I realized that romantic comedies were not the best "How To" when it came to dating, and I was actually doing more harm than good to my own heart. My movie watching turned into me reading romance centered novels, thinking that I would one day find the Jasper to my Alice. Let's be real, they were the real power couple of the Twilight series.  Don't get me wrong, I would still watch movies about tragic love all the time, and still silently wished I was in them. 

At some point, adolescents turned into adulthood and that's where shit got really funky. While most of my peers went off to school and found new lovers and friends.  I was off at a local college, nursing a very wounded heart and hoping that I would just be invisible to everyone. It's weird how I went from craving the attention of others, to wishing I could be swallowed up by the floor. Heartache does that to you, and sometimes we don't realize the blessings that come out of a breakup.  

Recently, I've been anticipating the arrival of Netflix's new Romantic Comedy dedicated to teenaged love. "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" caught my eye not only because of the diverse cast but because of the plot. Girl writes love letters (sounds familiar?), letters get sent out, and suddenly she's faced head-on with the consequences of her hearts desires. I sat down and watched it with my best friend and by the end I was sobbing. How did these people expose me like this? I quickly added this movie to my list of favorites and spent the next day reading both books (reading the third one currently!) that it was based on. Reading the books is what really broke down things that I hadn't really noticed that I still held on to. Sure, there were major differences but the gist was the same. . . How do you fantasize about love, but run away when it's in your face?  

See the older I've gotten the more cynical I've become and you would think that for someone who loves love as much as I do I wouldn't be. However, it seems that relationships aren't something that IRL me can handle. The idea of loving someone and allowing them to love me back actually scares the shit out of me.  Like are you serious? What's wrong with me? Why am I like this? 

image via Buzzfeed

It wasn't until I saw and read about LJ and Peter's relationship that I realized "damn girl, you're too young to be this cynical"! Author Jenny Han literally brought my deepest secrets into the light and used my younger self to make me face them. Fifteen years old me was so triggered by watching the movie that I had to walk out and go get a snack. I went home after I watched and decided that I needed to see it again to make sure that I wasn't losing my mind. The second time, however, brought about different feelings even though it had barely been four hours in between both viewings. This time I wasn't watching it as a younger version of myself, I was watching as me now. Which in retrospect is a hell of a lot worse, because then for the next 24 hours I devoured 2 of the 3 books, and watched the movie for the third time.  

When the realization hit me that 16-year-old LJ and 26-year-old Kirsten were the same people, emotions got heavy. Here I am, damn near thirty realizing that the world in my head is NEVER going to match the one I actually live in. Let me tell ya, making that connection felt like I got slapped by the biggest brick to the face. Here I am, a grown woman still fantasizing about the great loves she'll never have. Which could possibly still happen I'm not that naive, but it's best to not write what I want it to be. It's best to let it happen how it's supposed to without any influence from my romance-obsessed brain.  

True enough, not everything can be explained nor can I rewrite the tragedies that I've experienced. I can't take back the notes that I wrote or the embarrassment that I felt. I can't change teenaged decisions or redo the heartache's that came with it.  I can't fix any of that or alter it in any way, the only thing I can do is to recognize my heart now.  What does she want? What does she need today? How can I assist her in healing and growing simultaneously? How is she wanting to be loved? I haven't asked adult me those questions before, and maybe it's about time that I start doing just that. 

This book series and film, pushed me past comfort zones that I did't even realize I was in.  Sure the setting may be high school, but the lesson is so much bigger than that.  We don't get to make up our perfect person, nor do we decide when they come into our lives. For all you know that best friend you had on the playground when you were six, will be your first kiss at sixteen. Life is funny like that and should be enjoyed in all of its fucked up glory. 

Heal yourself in any way you need to. 

Blessed be.  

Check out "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" NETFLIX now! 

It's Retrograde Time! How You Can Handle Planets Moving Backwards

by Kirsten Renee 

Shoutout to the six planets stationing Retrograde at the same time! Here’s a little cheat sheet of what you can expect right now. 💕🔮

Image via Google 

Mercury (7/26-8/19)

Associations: Communication, Travel, & Memory.

What to expect:  Be mindful of what you say! Also, if you need to get something off of your chest do it before the 26th.

Image via Google

Mars (7/26-8/27)

Associations: Aggressive masculine energy, Lust, & Action.

What to expect:  Now is not the time to consider making major relationship/business changes. Also, check yourself when you get mad because a blow up now can/will have lasting effects.

Image via Nasa

Jupiter (3/8-7/10) 

Associations: Knowledge, Justice, & Education. 

What to expect: Jupiter Retrograde is ending in a few days, so if you’ve been feeling uncertain about where your life is headed... it’ll be okay! Not knowing what’s next is perfectly fine, try joining community groups to help ease the stress.

Image via Google 

Saturn (4/17-9/6)

Associations: Law, Slow change, & Self-discipline. 

What to expect: Sometimes it’s necessary to make bold moves to better your life. Time to rethink business plans, and ideas. It’s not the best time to start a new business, BUT you can always start planning it!

Image via Google 

Uranus (8/7-1/6)

Associations: Eccentric ideas, Inventiveness, & Unexpected change

What to expect: Don’t be in a rush to make a change, take your time and really think about the direction you’re headed. Impulse is cool for a Taco Bell midnight snack, NOT for major life changes.

Image via Google 

Pluto (4/22-9/30)

Associations: Rapid manifestation, Group ideas, Uniting 

What to expect: GET RID OF THE EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE YOU’VE BEEN HOLDING ONTO! Let it go like frozen, seriously Pluto (my favorite lil bean) is all about death/rebirth. Release negative karmic patterns, take a spiritual bath, build an immaculate altar, do yoga, find a sense of peace within.

Seriously, retrogrades AREN’T that bad, you just have to be mindful of what you’re putting out there. 

Let May Guide You Into The Next Phase of Your Life! #MGTarotscope

by Kirsten Renee 

via Tumblr 

Spring has taken its time to arrive this year, and there's a reason for that. It's about time we all stop rushing the process, Mother Nature teaches us all sorts of lessons.  We just have to be honest enough to see what's right in our faces. Trusting your process and recognizing patterns is essential to growth. If you can't see your own truth, how do you expect the universe to see you? You want to manifest that dream life of yours? Do the work, show the universe that you're not here to fuck around.  You don't become a success overnight, and even if you do you still have to know how to trust your process. 

If you're constantly torn between trusting yourself and asking for others opinions, you need to reevaluate some things.  Listen to your intuition because it knows best, you know what you need. It's time to stop denying yourself what it is that you deserve, because you are the key to your success. You're the only one that can determine if you're going to make it or not.  The true tea on adulthood is that to survive it you have to live it. You have to know your limits, know your strengths, and TRUST that you're not going to let yourself down. 

Let May be the month where you truly start blooming into who you are meant to be. Blooming season is taking her time, because you need to learn how to slow your roll. Just like the plants, we grow best when we are in the dark, still, and patient. Just like we tell younger generations to "stay kids forever."  We must also tell ourselves to stay in this moment, and not hurry. For cutting corners gets you nowhere, except for confused. 

Enjoy May's Tarotscope and I'll see you in July! 

*Using The Illuminated Tarot Deck* 

Taurus

The Hierophant + 3 of Cups 

It's your time to shine Taurus, with the sun beaming in your sign it's time for you to bring out the party supplies! You may be a homebody 97% of the time, but nothing brings you more joy than having the people you love around you. Celebrate your life for once instead of worrying about future shenanigans that may or may not happen. Let yourself enjoy the fruits of all the hard work you always put in. This month call your friends more, if you want to get out of that head of yours .. start by getting out of the house! Take a music class, or grab a coffee with someone you haven't seen in a while. You don't have to suffer Taurus, you can be your best ally if you allow yourself to be. Don't let your worries of the world stop you from putting your best foot forward. 

Gemini

3 of Pentacles (Reversed) + 4 of Cups 

Oh Gemini, your mouth often gets you into trouble and I was we creep our way into Gemini season you get more reckless! Think before you talk to the people you interact with, because not everyone can handle the delivery. Also now is a good time to listen to what people say to you,  if you're doubting certain relationships now is the time to ask yourself why you pay them any mind. If there's a lot of hear say, address it and move on. No need to sit in stagnant energy and collect karmic debt. Move forward and focus on whatever goals you've created for yourself.  Sometimes the company that you keep are the ones who hold you back.

Cancer

Jack of Cups + The Hierophant (Reversed) 

It's time to make a power move Cancer, are you ready? The chance for you to really prove to the world that ya mama didn't raise a bitch is here. You've got to make sure that whatever tools you need you've got and that you're crossing your T's and dotting your I's. If you know you've got some loose ends to tie up with people, do so now. Be honest in how you feel about people's place in your life. You tend to hold on to relationships because you love a project, however people aren't projects... They're people, just like you. Remember that when going into new situations and meeting new individuals. 

Leo

6 of Pentacles + 6 of Swords

Big dreamer and even bigger wanderer, Leo you can make magick happen with the twinkle of your nose. You know that, yet you still hold back...Why? What is is that is keeping you from putting all of your eggs into one basket? You know that you're the shit, and you know that no one can do something like you can. You've got the plan done, now you just need to put your big kid britches on and make it happen. If you're afraid, let that fear propel you into the greatness that comes with following your dreams. It's time to really put your best foot forward, and focus on yourself. Who better to lean on than the most reliable person you know? Yourself.  You're a force to be reckoned with, don't forget that. 

Virgo

The Devil + The Tower (Reversed) 

What you reap you will sow Virgo, and that's something that you especially have to keep in mind. You can easily slip into the habit of playing the devil minus the advocate. It's time for you to see the results of the energy you've been putting out. It's also a good time to start healing the parts of yourself that you've been holding deep beneath your surface. This month focus on your mental health, focus on the mechanics of yourself. Everybody needs a tune up every now and then. Your good a being focused on other things, but let your spirit be one of them. You don't always have to cater to your demons. 

Libra

10 of Pentacles + Judgement (Reversed) 

Oh Libra, the truth will set you free if you let it. At what point are you going to stop pretending that people don't see the real you? The truth about your life is front page news and now it's time for you to either keep lying or to finally speak your truth. The only person judging you is you, no one else is bothered by you speaking up. The longer you hide, you put yourself at risk of danger. Danger by way of not taking care of your mental health, physical health, spiritual and emotional health. It's way past time for you to be responsible for your own shit. Don't pretend to be something that you're not, just because you tend to be flighty doesn't mean that people don't see through you.  

Scorpio

Queen of Wands + The Chariot (Reversed) 

As the masters of rebirth and death, you've got your own special artform when it comes to moving on. Right now it's time for to put some things into perspective, and really get focused on what it is that you put on your summer vision board. You've got a special relationship with the spirit world, and the message is loud and clear. Let them guide you into this next phase, let go of the reigns and just enjoy the ride. Trust in your own magick and know that everything you create is destined to be great.  Transformations take time, and you've got nothing but time to make it happen. 

Sagittarius 

Temperance (Reversed) + Jack of Swords 

You've always been cautious sagittarius, but now isn't the time for your timid approach to life. It's time for you to get into the swing of taking care of yourself. If you've been feeling poorly, it's time to fix that. The best way to heal is to heal the mind, body and soul as a collective. Do the work that it takes to get your health in order, and to help you find balance in this life.  Be aware of how you're reflecting energy. If something is bothering you it'll show, and The Universe will bother you until you change it up. You've got potential, you're just to shy to go and greet it. Don't be afraid of yourself, because you're a good person. 

Capricorn

5 of Cups (Reversed) + Ace of Swords (Reversed) 

It's time for you to focus on what really matters Capricorn, you're the hardest working sign and you know it. However, there are times where you get distracted by the world around you, time to get back to work your break is over. Know that it is time to move forward with whatever business you have planned, and you better be prepared. This idea that you've held onto and nurtured is ready to run wild. How you manage your time now is going to determine how well and how fast your idea manifests. 

Aquarius 

The Sun  + 9 of Swords (Reversed) 

No sense in trying to pretend that you keep human hours Aquarius. You tend to be able to survive on your own clock and that's perfectly fine. However, if you're having restless nights try working on that project you keep putting off.  Your internal idea bulb is constantly going off, and if you're not careful you'll put on more than you can handle. Invest in a planner Aquarius, even if you don't keep normal hours make sure the schedule that you do have is organized. Life doesn't have to be so chaotic, nor does it always have to feel heavy and emotional. You can flip the way your life flows by actually working with yourself instead of against yourself. Keep a notepad by your bed so that when you start having these dreams you'll remember them! 

Pisces 

The Sun + 8 of Pentacles

Keep stacking up the checks Pisces, you work hard for everything that you have and you should reward yourself. Things may be a little hard right now and you're probably drowning underneath the pressure. All you need to do is stand up, and take a step back onto shore. Allow yourself time to be alone, you need time for your own thoughts. You don't owe anyone or anything your time and you need to set your boundaries before you go off further down the stream.  You're the only one who can say what it is you will and won't tolerate. Now's the time to speak up before you explode and hinder all of the hard work you've done for yourself. 

Aries

Jack of Cups + Ace of Cups (Reversed) 

Whatever you're holding in let it out, there's no sense of stewing over pent up resentment. You're only hurting yourself, because whoever/whatever you're holding a grudge against doesn't care. You can be the most stubborn when it comes to letting go of self sabotaging behavior. Just because you can do it, doesn't mean that you should. Besides your constant need to take subliminal shots at people is what's going to make whatever confrontation coming your way explosive. Defuse the situation between you and whatever has got you worked up, because the less drama you have the better off you'll be. 

Blessed be. 

For The New Witch: Spring Equinox + How To Work Your Flower Magick.

via google images

Happy Ostara/ Spring Equinox you beautiful flower children! 

If you're wondering just exactly what Ostara is, it's the day where Earth wakes up from the best sleep of her life. Sharing this moment with Spring Equinox (The beginning of Spring) , we enter a period of rebirth. It's the day of the divine feminine/ goddess. The renewal we experience is a very special time for kickstarting new goals, revisiting old ideas, etc. Scott Cunningham, author of "Wicca: A Guide For The Solitary Practitioner." Says that Ostara is when "The Goddess blankets the earth with fertility, bursting forth from her sleep, as the God stretches and grows to maturity. He walks the greening fields and delights in the abundance of nature. (pg 64.)"     I've recently started working with plant magick and dedicating myself  into practicing flower magick. For me Ostara is a time for blooming, Now is the time to stretch your petals and let yourself ease your way into a new transformation. 

I like to think of this time as me stepping out into the world after brainstorming an idea. It's a time for me personally to let my creations that I have nurtured through the dark winter months, out for some sunlight. The greatest gift of witchcraft is that you're constantly learning, and expanding your limits. The magick you produce now will be the energy that lasts for awhile, so ask yourself if you're ready to get what you manifest? If you're celebrating your first Ostara like me, I want to say this. The power that you feel is all yours, and how you will it will be a key part into this life of yours. Now is the perfect time to cleanse your home, your work space, your storage on your phone, etc.  Spring cleaning means getting rid of the cobwebs and opening yourself up to the divine. 

Taking a breath of fresh air spiritually, Spring Equinox slides us right into Aries season (Sun in Aries (3/21-4/19) like a road made of gold. Aries, ruled by Mars and the very 1st zodiac sign brings in a fiery passion for rebranding oneself. While Aries can be aggressive, the sign is also one of the most independent, and assertive signs! If you've been feeling lost in your practice, tap into the energetic boost that Aries brings in. If there's something you want to learn how to do, take a class, connect with people in that particular field, head to your local library, buy books, etc. Your mind is ready to take in new information, it's time to learn and really excel in your path. Push yourself to new heights, and be patient in your journey. With Mercury stationing Retrograde in Aries, we get a really special moment universally. Mercury Retrograde is a reminder that we don't need to rush, and that taking our time to plan things out will actually help us in the long run. 

Since Mercury represents the mind and communication, be careful about the words that you speak. I like to think of Mercury Rx as a time of simple living, and really focusing on my physical life. Like visiting coffee shops, redecorating my living space, hanging out with close friends, and even just writing more. Rediscover the things that you love to do, and something new while you're at it. Let you mind disconnect from the idea of time, and timelines because once you slow down and focus you'll see things differently. 

Growth is a natural and exciting part of life, like the flowers that have begun to bloom. We too share a very special bond with the springtime, and like the planet we live on we began a new cycle as well.

"Springtime is like waking up from that good nap you took on a rainy Saturday afternoon. "

I'm a person who suffers from seasonal depression, it's something I've experienced my entire life, and I'm just now recognizing how to live with it. Since I began practicing magick I've noticed how I've connected deeply to the changing of the seasons. I've noticed that any form of magick that I do is directly linked with the seasons. For Spring Equinox I decided to spend time with my closests friends as my form of ritual. Spending time with the people that I love, is one way that I connect with my heart. Friendships of any kind should always be honored, because these people are who you choose to have in your life. 

Having deep, and meaningful conversations can help you find answers that you've been seeking. Let yourself be cared for this spring, let those who love you do their job. . . Being there. Plants are self sufficient yes, but they can always use a helping hand every once in a while. 

via Tumblr.com

Here's a simple Springtime ritual list that you can do! You don't have to do everything on this list, or anything at all! Remember you can make your ritual look like whatever you want it to!  

1. Meditation: Take the first 10 minutes of your day to sit with your thoughts, and allow your body to wake up! 
2. Early morning yoga/gym session : Waking up early can actually improve your mental health. Exercising is a perfect way to wake your mind up and get pumped for the day.
3. Planning your day: You can always do this the night before, either way making a day to day schedule will help you stay F O C U S E D! 
4. Eating BALANCED meals: A plant can't grow if its environment is unhealthy. Spring cleaning counts for your body too! 
5. Making time for MEANINGFUL relationships:  Stop being a homebody and do your part in keeping your relationships solid with the people you love. 
6. Take a break from social media: Disconnect from the internet for a little bit! Now's the perfect time to get outside and live a little. 
7. Get a tarot reading: So many messages are coming through fast this spring, use this energy to connect to the divine and dive deeper into the meaning of your journey. If you're interested in learning how to read tarot buy yourself a deck. For my dollar store witches, buy a deck of playing cards, and a good book on the meaning of Tarot. My favorite is The Ultimate Guide to Tarot by Liz Dean, you can purchase it at your local bookstore or Amazon! 

I hope you find your answers in this post, and that you continue to grow in your journey in witchcraft. Happy Spring Equinox! 

A Conversation W/ Tarot: Blooming Full Moon in Virgo Energy.

by Kirsten Renee

gif via tumblr

2018 is kicking off to be a wild ride and I'm all the way here for it! We started January with a brand new trip around the sun and TWO full moons, and a lunar eclipse. We got a bit of a chill break in February where the moon wasn't full. However March is bringing in that electric touch that we've been waiting for. March is leading us to the nurting and gentle side of living.  As the Earth awakens from her nap. we recieve fresh and vibrant energy. Building a relationship with Mother Nature is so important, she nurtures our entire being, and we can find the answers through her actions. 

Question: Where am I unstable in my life? 

Card: The Tower (Reversed)

To get to know Mother Nature start by sitting outside in the grass, let the air and the earth beneath you soak into you. Hold a Selenite wand against your heart, and focus your breathing. By doing this you're allowing yourself to set the space for your conversation with Mother Nature.  It can be confusing once you open that door, and if you summon Mother Earth you should definitely come ready for extreme truth and guidance. If you're feeling nervous talk about the reasons why you feel that way. Something in you is afraid to talk about the truth. If you're feeling ready for the next step in your rebirth, or you're experiencing your rebirth remember to remain patient! Progress is patient, because you must learn to enjoy and grow with the experience. Growth comes in many ways, and when you truly sit with your personal life experience you notice each blessing and lesson individually. 

What's blocking me from myself? 

Card: Queen of Pentacles

If you're worrying about all the things that you don't have you'll never have them sweets. You get what you give, and if you're constantly focusing on what you lack, you can't learn what to do with what you already have!  Finding your balance within yourself is a MUST, because you need to know how your shadow and light coexist with one another. To live a "holy" life, one must be whole with life. Find your balance, and you'll unlock the door to your source. Connecting to source energy is the way to get what you desire in this lifetime. Grow through spirit , check how you're definfing the mirror effect for yourself. Because you know what they say, "you're your own worst enemy". You're also your own best spades partner, no one knows your instinct like you do.  

Am I living a healthy life?

Card: 3 of Cups

Health is WEALTH friends, and if your body is talking to you it's time to LISTEN. When it comes to personal health whether that be physical, mental, sexual, etc we've got to make sure we are healed and okay. Be mindful of the food that you put into your body, if you know your blood type try eating foods that are good for your blood type! Drink WATER, I can't stress this enough to make sure you gulp down water throughout the day! Go for walks, or sign up for a fun class to take! Spring time is a time for physical harvest, let yourself enjoy this time. Spring brings rebirth and as products of the universe we are blessed with being directly connected to this energy. Shake off your cobwebs and get it shaking, because the creative energy you're sitting on is waiting to be turned into a massive manifestation. Heal your body, mind, and spirit during this full moon. Be patient with your self and your energy. 

What message does The Full Moon in Virgo have for me? 

Card: Jack of Pentacles

It's time to start filling up your calander, turn the left over stagnant energy from winter into momentum for your creative endeavors. Get organized and start prepping yourself for some heavy spring cleaning! Cleaning your home, work space, bedroom, magick space, etc is the perfect way to bring in the changing of the seasons. Working with Mother Nature and her cycles is a great way to boost your magick. Being synced to the moon during menstraution, to casting particular spells on certain days you will find that your magick has grown. Mother Nature has power that we can easily access if we just let ourselves do so.  Get organized within your life, and your practice because once you clear the clutter in your mind and your physical space. You allow new blessings and lessons to come into your life. 

What does my intuition say?

Card: 5 of Swords

Summertime is a time for BBQ's and a card game being played by your aunties and uncles. However this Full Moon is reminding you that when it comes to the game of life, you're your best partner. If you think life is throwing hints your way, step back and see the bigger picture. These aren't hints, their full blown messages and you should be listening! Your intuition is NEVER wrong, and you'll never lead yourself down a path you don't need to. However, if you're in a period of repetition and self doubt, it's time for you to get grounded and replenish your energy. Sober yourself up, and detox your mind, body, and spirit. 

What lies ahead for me in March? 

Card: 9 of Swords

If your dreams are keeping you awake at night, or your day dreams have stopped you from being productive use this month to turn that energy around. If you can't sleep at night because of your goals and aspirations instead of laying there... Work on them! By organizing your life, you'll find that when you make time for things you care about you don't seem to worry as much. Putting energy into things that don't serve your highest good, is going against yourself. Try sleeping with Lavender, Mugwort, Eucalyptus  and amethyst underneath or inside of your pillow! Taking time before bed to center yourself and relax your body so that it may find the ultimate comfort. I like to think of sleeping as an adventure in the spirit library. Learn how to work with your dreams by keeping a dream journal and  dream dictionary next to your bedside! There's always messages within our dreams, and decoding them can clear up a lot of mental fog. 

*Note* If you're having trouble sleeping you should also go see your doctor/Healer! 

This Full Moon in Virgo is all about enjoying the rebirthing process, and seeing the truth of what you manifest for yourself! It's also a great time to declutter your life and make space for new vibrant energy! 

Blessed be! 

If you'd like to book a tarot session with Kirsten click HERE

#Tarotscopes Week of 1/12-1/19

by Kirsten Renee

New week, new mood? No, just me then. . . That's okay! As we wind down towards the end of Capricorn season (12/22 - 1/19) and quickly approach the greatest sign of all time Aquarius! The energy in the air is very raw and unique and it's a wise idea to tap into it.  Four days until the New Moon in Capricorn, which is a good time to plan out this next month or so. Write down daily goals to help you reach your overall goal! Help yourself manifest what it is that you want out of 2018. What new heights are you wanting to reach?  How can you help yourself reach those heights, and what is blocking you from reaching those heights? It's also a good time to set good habits and break the ones that aren't healthy. Let's get healthy in mind, body and spirit! Sign up for a new zumba class or start walking at a local park with friends. Either way, get active! 

Let yourself hang back a bit, don't overdue it with the constant need to be right. This week try practicing taking a step back and letting yourself be the observer. Who knows, you might just find something that you've be missing out on. You might even remember a project that needs a little TLC from its creator too!  Be kind to yourself, to this planet and to the people in your life. Often times the stress of our daily lives takes a toll on our relationships. Don't let it, allow yourself to love freely and receive the love that your family & friends are giving you!  

Have a happy week, trust your gut & blessed be! 

 Capricorn

Participation + The Hanged Man

Sweet Capricorn now is not the time to isolate yourself. 2018 needs to be the year you put yourself out into the world. This week you should focus on checking the foundations of the relationships you share with others. Once you put yourself out into the universe, the universe will guide all of your hard work into the physical world. You just have to let yourself be seen.

Aquarius

Compromise + Queen of Wands

IT’S ALMOST OUR TIME MY FELLOW AQUARIAN’S!!!! The message for Aquarius this week is very simple. Have courage in what it is that you want, let that momentum drive you to doing you! You don’t have to detour yourself unless you choose to. Hold yourself accountable! Buy yourself a planner or download Google Calendar. Plan out your days and keep a hold of yourself, you’ve got this.

Pisces

Ripeness + The High Priestess

Time to cash in some checks Pisces, this week ahead for you is booked and hella busy. Which is a good thing, you deserve this boost. Not to mention your finances are going to be POPPIN! Just remember, take time to breathe because even a go getter like you can get overwhelmed.

Aries

The Source + Jack of Cups

You’ve been feeling some fantastic energy since the start of the new year. If you haven’t, now is a good time to see what blockages you have. January is bringing a special type of healing energy and it’d wise to connect to it. Aries, you are allowed to let yourself go on as many adventures as you want! As long as you remember to stay out of your own way, you’re going to go far.

Taurus

Healing + 7 of Cups

This week isn’t one that you need to do what you normally do. You’ve been known to take on more than you need to, and that isn’t always a good idea! You are the superhero sign, but even Wonder Woman takes a nap. When you take on too much you end up taking it out on the people who love you. Let yourself breathe, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Tell people no, tell yourself no when you feel yourself doing a little too much.

Gemini

Adventure + 6 of Swords

Pack your bags Gemini! Seems like this week you’ll be taking a trip somewhere exciting + life changing. If you’re not leaving to go on an adventure, start planning one! When’s the last time you took a real vacation Gemini? You know how to balance work and play, but maybe it’s time to add self retreats into it. Start planning that dream trip of yours! It may just come sooner than you think!

Cancer

Conditioning + 8 of Wands

You’ve always been the one to protect those that you love. Now is the time to do just that. Be that lion in sheeps clothing, and calculate your moves. This week is going to be testing for you, and you can pass it simply because you are you. Protect yourself, protect those you love and protect the life that you built for yourself.

Leo

The Miser + 9 of Swords

Alright Leo, you’ve got some baggage that it’s time to get rid of. Whether it be emotional or physical it’s time to do a deep clean. This week I suggest you make time for whatever it is that keeps you up at night. You’ve got to make some decisions about the truth that you know is right versus the one that you tell people. The day to live your authentic life has arrived, don’t deny your spirit.

Virgo

Projections + 5 of Cups

Virgo be careful of what it is that you put out into this world. You know better than anyone what you’re capable of manifesting for yourself. This week focus on learning from your past mistakes, forgive yourself. Simply because you deserve forgiveness, but you have to be the one to say it. Move forward and don’t let whatever previous versions of yourself hold you back. Don’t sit in stagnant energy, because you know it’s no good for you.

Libra

celebration + The Chariot

It’s time to celebrate yourself Libra! You’ve been doing a good job at sticking to your plans that you’ve made for yourself. You’ve been doing well at whatever goals you’ve set out to do. Just remember that if you fall off the wagon, you don’t have to stay off of it. It’s time you break the habit of giving up on yourself. Be the warrior and cross that finish line in victory.

Scorpio

Receptivity + Ace of Wands

This week is all about trusting yourself and what you know to be true. Allow your intuition to be the source of your decision making this week Scorpio. Use it to make the right decisions for yourself. Remember slow and steady wins the race, don’t rush your process.

Sagittarius

Exhaustion + The Lovers

It’s time to focus on what relationships aren’t serving your spirit any justice. Who you associate with is a reflection of yourself. This also includes your part in relationships as well. Are you being the best partner/friend? Time to do a little soul searching because sometimes all a relationship needs is a check up.

#Tarotscopes week of 1/4-1/10

Tarotscopes week of 1/4 - 1/10

image via google 

Hello friends! 

Doesn't 2018 feel super powerful already, or is it just me? This week we dive right on into what it is that we need to get the ball rolling this year. New year, new opportunities to make shit happen.   The cards are CHATTING today girl, and they’re truly not holding back.  Listen to your intuition, simply because it is your truth. 2018 is the year of the truth and the year for physical manifestations to arise. What, or how do you plan on working with this energy is solely up to you.  My advice, use it to your advantage and shine bright like a motherfuckig diamond. 

(Decks used: The Illuminated Tarot + The Osho Zen Tarot)  

Capricorn

The Outsider + 6 of Swords

Hellooooo Capricorn, the sun is shining bright in your sign until 1/20/18! Seems like all your hard work is finally paying off. Keep building what it is that you want out of life. You see everything from a business perspective, and that’s how you’re kicking off the new year. Go off onto that adventure that you’ve been planning for years. It’s time for you to keep that hustler mentality strong, because you’re about to be the definition of booked + busy.

Aquarius 

Suppression + 6 of Pentacles

It’s almost our time my fellow Aquarian aliens! When is the last time you went out in public? Aquarian’s are infamous for only coming out of the hole only when they want to. Except my sweet friends, that is exactly what’s been holding you back. It’s time to come out of hiding! You’re the superstar sign, so be a superstar . What’s your image this year and how do you plan on using it to help you get ahead in life? Think about how you want to be seen in the public eye and let yourself be just that. Get out of your head (and your bubble) + make yourself known to this world. Besides, aren’t you supposed to be the one who changes it?

Pisces 

Rebirth + The Star

Pisces it’s seriously time to get off your ass and let things go. The resolutions that you have set for yourself are the blueprint that you’ve been needing to reboost your life. If 2017 was tough for you, then 2018 is going to be the jumpstart you’ve been needing! Pisces trust your intuition, because you’ve got a special talent for seeing beyond the illusions that life sometimes shows.

Aries  

stress + Jack of Pentacles

Listen up Aries, and listen well. This week start managing your stress better. The world doesn’t have to be so stressful, nor does it have to be your responsibility! Time management + mental health management is something you should buckle down on this week. How do you plan on showing up for yourself this year? Make your list and check it as many times as you need to!

Taurus 

Existence + 2 of Wands

Alright Taurus I’m gonna kick it to you like this. What is your purpose in this world? Where is your specific place and how do you navigate it? This week think about what it is that you REALLY want to do, and go for it. It’s time to sit down and figure out your next steps. If you already know your next steps, keep that momentum going. Stop second guessing yourself Taurus, you can do this. You can handle whatever life throws your way. Just remember that the only person worth pleasing is yourself.

Gemini  

Compromise + 9 of Swords

Gemini you forever get a bad rep, simply because you’re misunderstood. There’s no need to be fake about who you are to please someone else. Whatever it is that you’re not facing is coming at you full force now. Even though you’ve been known to have multiple personalities, you don’t have to compromise any of them to be accepted in this world. Let yourself be yourself and everything will make sense.

Cancer  

Experiencing + 8 of Swords

You put too much pressure on yourself Cancer. You hold households, families and communities together with exceptional strength. Your personal judgment is telling you that something or someone in your life needs to be evaluated. It’s time to figure out who’s really in your corner and who isn’t.

Leo  

Past lives + 10 of Swords

The spirit world is telling you to remember your roots right now Leo. Where you come from can be a tool to finding out where it is that you need to go. A huge shift has either come your way, or it is well on its way. Even though you just spent lots of time with family over the holidays. Don’t lose that connection just yet. Call up your grandparents, or seek advisement from your favorite auntie. Sometimes our families actually know what to say to help the path get a litter clearer.

Virgo  

Totality + Ace of Swords

in a world full of chaos it’s often hard to find peace. Finding a peace of mind will do you some good Virgo. If the world you’ve created has started crumbling, let it. Make space for new adventures and relationships Virgo. You’ve got to stop being afraid of your life cycles. Because once you let go of that fear you’ll see what it is that you’ve been searching for.

Libra  

Success + The Hermit

Libra! You’re all about putting yourself and your needs first. Which is great because you are on the fast track to success coming your way. Libra self care for you is usually buying yourself something shiny. This week try a bit of emotional self care, sit with yourself and get down to the bottom of those questions that you’ve been wondering about. Self care is more than just bath bombs + Thai food sweet Libra. Self care is taking care of you emotionally, physically, and spiritually! Treat yo’self!

Scorpio  

Sharing + The Moon

As the ruler of death, you tend to see life in a very literal way Scorpio. Someone in your life needs your help + and you can be useful right now. With you being unafraid to tell the truth and seek it. Your voice is needed right now, and in a really big way. Go out and speak your truth to the world Scorpio. Because someone, somewhere is listening.

Sagittarius  

Projections + The Hierophant

Things aren’t always what they seem, and as the sweetest sign (IMO) you can sometimes be duped by those around you. You can even be duped by your own thoughts sometimes. The truth is Sagittarius, you’ve got a door that’s ready to be opened. Only YOU can decided if you’re ready for that. Although it is nice to seek comfort and affirmations from those you love. The ultimate decider is you, and that means you’ve got to use your better judgments. Whether this means taking a new class, switching jobs, or just finding a new boo. You’re ready to take that leap... Jump little frog & see where it is that you land.

want to book a reading with Kirsten? Send an email to kirstenrenee10@gmail.com to book your session now! 

Heal Your Heart Trauma By Recognizing Your Heart Karma

by Kirsten Renee

It's an odd feeling to think about why relationships never work out for yourself.  You go through the motions of  "self care"; watching rom-coms and pretending as if you don't know why you'll never have a healthy romantic relationship. Listen, I'm the first person to be a hopeless romantic, but still be a shitty partner. I LIVE for Hallmark Christmas movies and I still can't stop watching Pretty Woman ten times a week. However in the same way that I'm a romantic type of bitch, I could be very closed off and wishy washy with potential partners.  I've been called a tease by pretty much every person I've involved myself with. I got a kick out of being wanted but never being able to be attainable.  However, doing that has caused me to experience what I call "heart karma". You know the phrase "everything you do will always come back to you"? Well it's true, people think that only pertains to being a bad person or doing something wrong. Karmic energy is neither good nor bad, it just is and that's something that most people have yet to understand.  I realize it now that my own heart karma has come to hit me in the face with a reality check.  

I recently talked to/“dated”/ was interested in a guy that I was into pretty fast, until I realized he embodied every aspect of who I used to be. Distant, closed off,  but still intoxicating and it shook me to my core. I was being pulled in by myself to myself, I was dating the person that I was to others and that took me for such a loop that it took me a minute to process it. He's not a bad guy in any way, nor am I bad person for the things that I've done. It's just that sometimes you don't realize that the demons you carry can feed off of the bodies you choose to interact with.  Being emotionally detached for a long period of time can be the most draining thing in the world. Karmic energy is just a direct reflection of YOUR actions, and that's a heavy cross to carry once you take the time to acknowledge that.  Now that I'm working on getting away from those feelings and allowing my vulnerability to lead me I see how I love differently. I see how I want to be loved differently and that's what growth is all about. Being able to see yourself progress and see how far you've come is sobering. 

Allowing myself to be vulnerable and not being afraid of that openness has shifted my heart karma. Facing myself in a way that I have has truly elevated me into a completely different being. Having someone else mirror the exact actions that I had been doing is what did it, and I'm thankful for that lesson. Thankful for the fact that I can easily recognize the patterns that I had carried for so long. Whether we realize it or not, we carry all sorts of trauma with us. Unless we make the CONSCIOUS choice to work through that trauma it'll become exactly who we are, and how we treat ourselves and others. 

From an astrological standpoint this moment has been a long time coming in my chart. With Saturn moving into Capricorn, a need to be stable in all areas of my life has become more apparent. However it's not just me that will go through this, every single person on this planet is going to have to face whatever karmic energy they've been putting out. That's the thing about life and recognizing the signs of what's going on in the universe. If you know what to look for, you'll know how to handle it.  Saturn is the planet of truth and reality,  so of course my disconnect to feelings and personal resentment for them would be thrown back in my face. I asked for this, and truthfully I'm thankful that it happened the way that it did. 

2017 was the year of shadow work, it uprooted secrets and lies,  it shook foundations that on the outside looked sturdy, it blew through like a tornado on a mission for world destruction. When tornados hit (metaphorically and physically) they leave behind a sense of eerie calmness.  It's quiet, it's empty, it's new and scary. . . That's exactly what working with your trauma is like. Working with your shadows is like waking up after a storm has uprooted your life and you now have to figure out your next move. 

Be mature in how you approach matters of the heart, here's a tip if you know you've got blockages that are preventing you from evolving fix them. Handle that shit, before the universe just permanently puts you into that place. There's an energy in the air that maybe I'm the only one feeling, but it feels very consistent. It feels like whatever it is that you speak into existence, whatever actions that you do, all of those things are going to be who you are going to become. Be mindful of that type of energy, be mindful of the person that you want to be versus the person that you pretend to be. Because you can very well get stuck in the land of pretend if you're not careful. 

Recognize the self destructive patterns that you have attached to yourself, and work on correcting them. If you're like me and you find yourself stuck sometimes on how to move past things in your life here's some of the things that I turn to when I need help at releasing heart trauma and karma. 

1. Meditation: 

via tumblr

By focusing on the root of your problem and allowing it to come to the light you're allowing yourself to heal.  I like to do 15 minute meditations each day (at least I try to!), and during that time I focus on the subconscious feelings of my spirit.  When working with your heart focus on your heart beat pattern, let it lull you into a state of awareness. Whatever energy that arises sink into that and watch how you discover new truths about your heart.  

2. Journaling

via tumblr

Writing about feelings is a great way to assess them, putting thoughts and energy onto paper or whatever you use can help.  Writing can help you look back onto those feelings, and gives you a clearer guideline on what it is that you are experiencing. 

3.  Etheric Cord Cutting Ritual

via tumblr 

There's many ways to do a cord cutting ritual, and that's absolutely okay. Find or create one that speaks the highest to your spirit. It's a pretty simple and easy ritual to do; 

 - Find a quiet and peaceful space, preferably one where you can be alone! 

- Cleanse your area and cast your circle (if you're into that, this isn't just for witches and those who practice) 

- Relax your body,  focus on breathing deeply and allowing yourself to really fill up your space. I also like to listen to energetic frequencies like this one ! I like to really get into a deep state before casting spells or setting intentions. 

- Allow your spirit guides/angels/ ancestors/etc whoever you spiritually work with to come into the now sacred space. Welcome them with open arms and sit with them in prayer and spiritual fellowship. 

-  Ask them to remove whatever cords that you are connected to that aren't of your highest good. Ask for guidance in releasing that energy and the connection to it, as well as for protection while doing it.  I personally like to repeat my spells a specific number of times, it makes me feel comforted. 

- After the ritual smudge your space, take a relaxing bath or shower and allow yourself to relax in the vibrations from your ritual. 

you can always tweak rituals to your liking and make them your own! Never be afraid to listen to your own intuition for guidance! 

4. Therapy

via tumblr

If you know you've got negative habits that are stopping you from growing give therapy a shot. Therapy is so helpful when it comes to having someone help you work through your emotions and thought process. Therapy is also a great way to connect with your emotions on a deeper level, and it can really help you heal if you let it! 

Remember, healing isn't over night and working through years of trauma can take years to heal. Remain consistent in your work and know that by working through your old experiences you're making room for new ones. 

Happy healing, happy hearts.  

Why Transparency In Relationships Should Be The Next Trend

by Kirsten Renee

Image via Tumblr

Let me kick this off with this one disclaimer, I am a very self centered and detached young woman. I mind my business, I build my business and for the most part I keep to myself. So with that being out there; it's difficult for me to connect with folks on a romantic level sometimes.  I think of myself as the millennial Samantha Jones mixed with Ginger Foutley and Khadijah James.  I am a loud mouthed, sexually fluid, non exclusive, emotionally honest writer who at times (read: all the time) is a filthy scoundrel. That in itself makes me a wildcard in the dating world,

Relationships have NEVER been my forte, growing up I had adolescent flings, and unrealistic love but that's normal.  In my adulthood I haven't given relationships much thought, I see connections with people as a unfair expectation of what I'm supposed to do. I have very strict rules when it comes to dating me that I have ZERO plans on changing.  

1.  Don't waste my time. 
2. Communication is EVERYTHING to me. 
3. I'm not about to chase your stupid ass. 
4. Keep my creative side intrigued.

image via google

I don't ask for much, I don't ask that you even spend all of your time with me. Why is it so hard to find companions that can understand those things? It's annoying to me that I'm extremely upfront and honest about who I am to people when we meet. Yet I've learned over the years, through countless situationships and relationships that people are never who they say they are. Ulterior motives is what every person seems to have, and for that I have to call bullshit. If you're going to pursue someone be fucking honest about who you are up front.  I feel like our entire generation of dating adults treats dating and relationships like a fucking tinder bio. Stop giving folks your dating resume full of lies and let people actually SEE the real you. We treat dating as if we're applying for a job, which in a way we are. However, there are people like myself who prefer to know off top what kind of deal they're getting into. 

I'm quick to quit a space that no longer serves my spirit, which means I will easily quit a partner for not fulfilling me. Does that make me a bitch? Maybe? Probably, but I'm okay with that. I'm a non monogamous type of chick, I have different relationships with different individuals.  However the rules still apply; The vibe must be right, the conversation has to be real, and my creativity has to be fed. Communicating is a big part of that, and at this point I wonder if the rest of the 20 somethings know that. From personal experience it just seems like everyone is out to play a role, and I'm just not with the shits like that. Just talk to each other, be OPEN and HONEST about your intentions, explain how you love and let people know how you like to be loved. 

It's interesting to me that the realest of the real have the most to hide when it comes to emotions and human to human contact.  Am I detached yes, but in a way that I am still able to love deeply. I am detached from the nonsense that this world brings because I choose to live in the world that I created for myself. Emotionally I am as transparent as a freshly windexed window, and I prefer my partners be the same way. In my older years I have chosen to embrace my feelings and love language to their fullest potential. I honor the way I love in a way that is full of grace and purpose.  Which is why I am so frustrated with dating, why is it so hard for grown ass people to be honest about their feelings? 

Relationships don't have to be hard, and they don't have to follow this strict guideline that has been taught to us. Just listen to your partner(s)! Pay attention to what potential bae's tell you, the first few weeks of a situationship/relationship are the MOST important.  That's when you lay the groundwork and figure out if you and this person are compatible. The problem with millennial dating is that no one is listening, everyone is just on the move all the time. When is the last time you asked your partner what they wanted out of a relationship? That question doesn't just pertain to romantic partnerships either, ask everyone in your life about what they want out of a relationship with you. 

It's time we start getting serious about the type of energy we surround ourself with, and how we allow folks to treat us. An open discussion can go far, because by doing that you're telling people that you have expectations (WHICH EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE!). You have to be able to open up the lines of communication because if not, you're going to forever find yourself in a predicament with folks who think it's okay to not play by your rules. Don't settle for less than what you feel like you deserve. Compromising your OWN rules just to appease others isn't a look, and it's something that can be easily fixed. What are your personal rules that you feel you've allowed to people to break at your expense? Figure that out, and then start making the conscious choice of checking folks. 

Transparency from the start will save you AND your partners a lot of trouble later on down the road. Relationships don't HAVE to be complicated, life isn't always a fucking game, and at the end of the day. . . Always put yourself first. 

peace and blessings.

Why 'Black-ish' is Important TV

What do you do when you're off of work for six weeks, and need something to occupy your time? Find a new show to binge, of course! Which is exactly what I did during my maternity leave. One of the many TV shows I chose was ABC's, Black-ish. 

I'm gonna be honest, when the show first came out it wasn't on my radar. However, when I heard that Daveed Diggs landed a recurring role, I got interested to see what it was all about. Of course by that time, the show was already two seasons in, and I'm not one to jump in to a show once it has started. I've gotta watch it from the beginning. Then, 'Hope' happened. Black-ish had finally tackled the issue that so much of Black America is talking about; police brutality.

When I got on Facebook the night that episode aired, I was beyond confused. I had never seen an episode before, and since it stars Anthony Anderson, I figured it was solely a comedy. Eventually, I binged Black-ish on Hulu, and was not disappointed.

The series centers around Andre Johnson, a Black man who's the Vice President of an ad agency, and his wife Rainbow, a bi-racial Anesthesiologist. Their lives revolve around their four children (Zoey, Andre Jr., and twins Jack and Diane), and how they deal with raising them as upper middle-class Black people. 

What I love about this show is the obvious cultural differences is portrays of racial stereotypes. Andre questions his role as a father since his children have been given different opportunities than he had growing up because he has created a better life for his family than he had. Which is ever parent's dream. But the moral struggle with him lies in if his children are being coddled and spoiled (as he believes most white children are) rather than learning life lessons the hard way as he did. He's constantly asking himself, "Am I raising proud, Black children?"

To give a short answer, every episode pretty much ends in Andre and Rainbow realizing that there is no right or wrong way to raise a child. No matter the color of their skin. Parenting is all about making mistakes, learning from them, and doing the best that you can do.

Black-ish is a show that's safe and funny for people of all ages and races. It brings a lightheartedness to burning questions in the ongoing 'White v. Black' debate that most people are afraid to talk about. It's the show ABOUT Black people, FOR Black people, that should be watched by ALL people.

Black-ish returns to ABC on Tuesday, October 4th at 9/8c

How I Discovered My Magick.

via Google

I was always inspired by the witches in movies as a child, I wanted to be Ursula instead of Ariel & Practical Magic is the movie that I still watch at least three times a week. Sabrina The Teenaged Witch was my favorite comic book, I used to sketch out the covers in my own notebook.  Always loving the broom in her hand and her fearlessness, Sabrina always knew to trust herself and let her magick flow. The Craft taught me to manifest my wildest dreams, and that everything comes with a consequence. Jayde from The Drama High series taught me to remember my ancestors, and to call on my spirit guides whenever I need a reminder of where I come from. These were the women and stories who I found pieces of myself within.

There was something special about certain moments in my life, looking back I can see why they were.  I've always known that witchcraft and magick lived within me, but as most of us do I let what I was taught cloud who I am.  Witchcraft isn't a hobby for me, it's the most exciting part of who I am. This path and this journey have led me to more questionable and mentally stimulating moments than ever. It's who I am because it's the only thing I've ever known, I say that knowing that who I am is magical in every way. I'm connected to animals in ways that most people aren't, I can tell what weather is coming by how the wind blows, I always have an answer for everything, and when I don't my silence is an answer in itself.  Magick isn't something you can just buy in a shop, it lives deep within you, pumps through your being like a waterfall.

I remember writing my own spell once in high school, it didn't work because I forget the key ingredient... Believing in it.  In High school I found myself being drawn to astrology and tarot cards. Although, the tarot was always at the back of mind, Miss Cleo (RIP) sparked interest me quite a few times with her infomercials.  I was too afraid of what I had been conditioned to believe, so I hid from what I secretly wanted. I used to casually (all the fucking time)  visit this online tarot game on the-n.com (that website needs to make a comeback). I was high key obsessed with it because it was always accurate, and I found that to be more than just a coincidence.

I bought my first physical deck last year, I remember the excitement I felt after I opened the box. It felt new, and spiritually lifting that's how I knew that reading the tarot was my key to God/dess and that I finally felt a piece of me lock in. Reading tarot cards has been emotionally freeing, I find an answer to things I didn't even know I was unintentionally asking for, and to things that I actively search for within. My gift for clarity has come full circle for me, and I've learned how to share my gifts with other people.  Slowly I am coming into my purpose, and am using it to help those around me.  Imagine climbing a large mountain, where you can see the peak in the distance. The path is made up of so many different terrains and you know that the only way to the top is to keep learning about yourself.  That's what it's been like for me; the deeper I go within the higher I climb and the more clear my intuition becomes.  

Falling in love with yourself is the true definition of falling head over heels in love. I realized that if I want something to happen I have to fully believe in that want. Allowing myself to get to know myself became a necessity for me. It hasn't been easy though, falling in love with myself has also come with some very triggering moments. Self care is more than just a bath bomb and yoga, it's facing those demons that you locked away once. Self care is looking at yourself in the mirror and truly seeing the person staring back at you. For me, that meant coming to terms with a lot of things.

Truth telling comes with a price, and often that price can be heavy and feel like a weight is constantly sitting on your chest. Digging in deeper is the key to understanding yourself and the world you live in (we don't all live in the same dimensions). The farther I go into my own journey the more I experience.  I've found myself traveling the galaxies randomly, and my dreams are clearer than they have ever been. Diving deeper into a higher conscience projects you into a completely different living experience. 

I see the world and what it truly is instead of what I was told it looks like, learning about the universe and it's many dimensions has brought a significant amount of joy. Although, there are parts that have been frightening;  like the one time I had a very interactive dream and was floating through the galaxies.  It was beautifully terrifying because it was very, very real and I had never experienced something so bigger than myself before. 

  YOU HAVE TO GET UNCOMFORTABLE TO GET COMFORTABLE. 

I've found that on this journey of witchcraft it isn't always about rituals and spells. It's about learning to listen to your soul and using that voice to influence the world you live in. Creating the life that you KNOW is meant for you is difficult sometimes. However when you've got the universe and spirit on your side, what can go wrong? Trust is the biggest thing; trust that your divine plan is specifically yours, trust that your magick is powerful, trust that your spirit guides & guardian angels have your back in everything that you do. 

Also, magick isn't something to play with. The same way it can create something beautiful, it can also do some serious damage if you're not careful. I'm not saying you can't hex someone or whatever, that's your business. Just be mindful that EVERYTHING we do will find it's way back to us. So if you're out here putting serious hexes on people for fun, that energy will find it's way right back into your own life and be worse than when you sent it out. Now, if someone is bugging you handle them accordingly, like remove them from your space all together.  

It's Money Honey: The Millennials Guide To Keeping Your Pockets Filled

by Kirsten F.

Via Google

For some reason people assume that we as a generation don't know what hard work is. Let me be quite clear about Generation Y aka The Millennials; We know how to hustle better than most. So what if we buy wine by the caseloads and spend hella bucks on concert tickets. However we work our asses off to be able to treat ourselves to such delicacies.  We have zero problem working more than one job, it's just that our jobs tend to be whatever WE choose to create.  We're the writers, the animators, the artist, the Youtubers, the bloggers... We are the app developers, and the startup champions. We have our own way of surviving and taking care of ourselves, and that's alright. 

I called out to all of my millennial pals on the internet (well, Facebook) and asked them to give me some of their hella savvy, simple, and genius ideas on how to save money! These tips are great for the internet generation, the minimalist, and those of us who just need to get a handle on our lives. Saving money isn't something that needs to be stressed about, because you can save as much or as little as you choose. Just make sure you invest in yourself financially because who better to take care of you than you? Like I said, no matter if you're just saving change or a few dollars here and there. Taking responsibility financially is the most important part of adulthood. Holding yourself accountable is the most important thing you can do as an adult. Your finances, your life, your everything is up to you because only you are responsible for your own shit. 

Seriously, this is coming from me to you; don't stop trying just because money is tight and things don't seem to be going your way.  Keep hustling, and you'll get there but only if YOU take life by balls and face yourself in every way. 

1. Put Your Debit Card Down! 

 - Ashley 

2. Buy Instead of Rent.

- Erin B.

 

3.Online Banking is A Thing You Need. 

- Christin T.

- Tareva M. 

 

4. Slow Your Roll Big Spender.

- Deshavious D. 

5. Treat Your Savings Like Another Expense.

- Maddi P. 

- Jaylnn W. 

6. Sell Your Old Clothes For Cash.

- Sarah G.

7. Become a Coupon Master.

- Joshua T. 

8. Direct Deposit Isn't Just For Checking Accounts.

- Catherine W. 

Valerie N.

9. Putting Excess Money Back.

- Anon 

- Caylen P. 

11.  Meal Prepping is a Money Saver.

- Destiny H. 

12. Add A Little Extra When You Pay a Bill. 

- Antoine W. 

Pregnancy and Mental Health

Growing up, I always dreamed of becoming a mom. My only lapse in the idea of being a parent happened a few years ago when I was single, and wanted to travel for a living. That quickly changed when I entered a comitted relationship, and realized I wanted to settle down and start a family. 

While marriage still isn't in the works for my boyfriend and I at the moment, we are having our first child in July. Our first, and if the cosmos see fit, only. This pregnancy wasn't planned, but I was still beyond happy when I found out we were expecting because for a while, we didn't think it was possible for me. Now that I know we can conceive, I'm making the conscientious choice not to do it again.  

via Google 

I already love our son more than anything in the world, and he's not even here yet. However, the toll that the hormones have taken on my mental health is enough to make me not want to be pregnant ever again. As women, we hear tons of stories about pregnancy hormones, mood swings, etc., but the truth is, none of that can be accurately described until you go through it yourself because every woman and every body is different.  

I've always battled with anxiety and depression, but being pregnant is the first time in seven years that I I've felt like literally giving up on life. Some days are better than others, but everyday is a struggle between putting on a happy face and living, or giving up and not. I found myself lying I bed feeling purposeless, and I couldn't bring myself to put pen to paper because every ounce of inspiration was gone.  

via Google

Even my relationship has been suffering. For the first time in the two years we've been together, I have questioned our ability to stay together. I've told him to leave, we slept in separate bedrooms, and even straddled the line of a break-up. Which, in hindsight, I guess is why people suggest waiting until marriage to start a family. Babies are a huge financial responsibility, and adding those stresses into a mix of ever-changing hormones is a recipe for disaster if you do not have your mental health in check. 

I'm choosing myself first when I say I'd rather hold on to my sanity than have another baby. Pregnancy is not easy. It's a long, annoyingly painful process. All of which I can handle. But when my mental health, and the sanity of my relationship become jeopardized, I have to take a step back and really think of what's more important. I choose me.  

Life Lessons: Let It Go

By Darius D.

Via Google 

There’s nothing wrong with letting things go. things that aren’t fulfilling to your life or things that you feel are harming you but you also feel attachments to. Things that are hindering you from moving forward in your life.

There are so many lesson I’ve learned and am still learning when it comes to bettering myself. I like to share and compare my notes with other people to see what other routes can be used to achieve a common goal.

Some people have trouble letting things fade away, while others have no problem at it and actually seem to enjoy throwing things away. Clutter, pictures, clothes that you never wear anymore, the list goes on and on. Emotional binds seem to be the things that most people, even myself, struggle with the most, and that coupled with nostalgia is no fun. The constant reminders of what used to be and the flood of ideas on how to get it back can be oh so annoying, and fighting the currents to maintain whatever it is, is just so exhausting

Via Google 

However, there’s always that cue that breaks your daydream off. That thing that happened that led the situation to be what and where it is in the present time. I’m learning to pay attention to that majorly defining moment instead of allowing myself to be whisked away to Neverland. Literally, Neverland and when you have the realization that things may very well never be what they were, for better or for worse, is when you can be a little happier. It could be that it was meant to be a lesson or that you needed a break from whatever it is you’ve grown so attached to so that it can become something better, or at the most negative, a mistake that should’ve never happened.

In any event, there’s always a reason behind the things that happen in our lives, whether we understand them or not. I’m a firm believer in that most things we don’t understand right now will be brought to light at some point in the near or far future. Letting go is a part of growing up, and you have to make space for more experiences some kind of way, and not letting go of a job, an ex, or a certain experience could actually be doing more damage than benefit to your life and well-being.

It takes practice, as with anything else, but I feel like it’s worth the effort, but I’m just rambling now.

that’s all I have for today. be easy.

and remember, stopping by every reflective surface you see is perfectly okay.

Spirituality VS Sexuality: What Do You Do When Your Boyfriend Leaves You For Jesus

By Macie R.

“Two people on fire for the lord is always better than one.” 

*Names have been changed*

Via Google 

I was pretty set on what I was going to talk about as my first post. you know, Friday night cocktails, how much waxing does your vagina really need, giving yourself some TLC because lord knows no one else is, but alas here I am with a totally off the wall topic.

 I was recently involved in a phone conversation (which I usually avoid at all costs because I mean.. Who doesn’t want to text?) with a close pal and he (John) proceeded to disclose some information regarding his ONE YEAR relationship. Emphasis on the ONE YEAR because that’s pretty freaking magical to make it to these days and it will come into play in a bit. My friend is a gay man (yes GAY , and   I’m also a gay woman for those reading this) so yes, this conversation and probably many to follow, are going to focus around a homosexual relationship, so brace yourself conservatives of the world! Any-who, he is dating this fellow (Skylar) whom from what I understand, is quite a lovely lad. 

Like I said, it’s been ONE YEAR, why would John stick around if Skylar wasn’t the cats pajamas? Right? Well, here’s the catch ladies and gents, THEY HAVE OPPOSITE RELIGIOUS BELIEFS. Who’d a thunk it? Something most people (this includes all orientations) fail to consider or address when entering a new relationship. You’re too “in love” to talk about God right? Too busy in the honey moon phase to discuss whether or not you can be supportive of each others views. Well, Skylar is a Christian and believes that sexual activity before marriage is something to not indulge in.. Now, people, that would be acceptable and completely understandable had they actually stuck to it after all of this time. But after ONE YEAR, shouldn’t this  want of celibacy have been maybe…talked about? NOPE. Skylar is just now wanting to stick to his guns and cut off all sexual acts. No big deal, right? What’s the problem there? 

Well people, it wouldn’t be if he had actually wanted John to be a part of that journey.. He wants to handle this one “solo”. (Yes, I was just singing to the song solo as I typed that, I hope you were too.)Now John is what you’d call a spiritual being, he is not necessarily tied to any certain religion yada yada yada. But, that doesn’t mean he isn’t supportive and loving of Skylar’s  walk with God. Clearly, John was 100% juicy juice on board with Skylar about taking steps back physically. Yet, it was a walk Skylar wanted to walk alone. Sad right? How can after ONE YEAR you wouldn’t want to share that journey of religion with someone who is basically standing there, arms open, saying BRING IT ON BABE! 
 

“You’re too “in love” to talk about God right? “

So all of that led me to this question,  can two people learn to mesh religion? Like truly collide together and it be truly accepted by both parties? If one person is willing to dive head first and learn about your ways and your families ways, shouldn’t that be considered a damn blessing? Do you think your faith could actually strengthen if your partner was dabbling in it with you? Couldn’t you both grow individually and as a UNIT? Perhaps I’m bat shit crazy, but I think two people on fire for the lord is always better than one. (Yes I said bat shit in a religious post…bite me) 

My point of this article? Beats me, honestly. I have yet to experience an opposite religious view with my counter part. But I do think if you’re blessed enough to have a partner who is on your team, who loves you for all of your shades, who is standing right fucking there begging you to let them into your spiritual world, let them! How could curiosity in your relationship with anything ever be a bad thing? How could allowing your loved one entrance into that part of you, be such a negative? 

Well, that’s all folks. I will leave you with this. Grab tight to your lovers roots, grab tight to your faithful foundation and grow like trees. 

Why I Chose To Not Have A Sexual Identity

By Kirsten F. 

“I chose to be limitless when it comes to defining my relationships. “

Via Tumblr 

When I was a teenager I would try to force myself to fit into different categories. My self identity came with a checklist of adolescent ideals that I felt fit me at the time. I claimed the emo/scene notch on the list proudly, and felt as if that was who I was, until it wasn’t. I attempted to become urban, preppy, and a list of other things when it pertained to social status. Those tags became how I presented myself to people and chose to express the definitions of those categories freely. 

My teenage years were spent throwing myself into different lifestyles, and figuring out my sexual identity was a huge part of that. I was heterosexual, a lesbian, questioning, bi-sexual which then lead me to being pansexual, queer and eventually where I am now. This very moment, where I have decided to not identify as anything at all (actually I chose to live this way a long time ago). I am done with the labeling of my relationships with others, and I say this because I don’t just like one specific type of person. Sexuality isn’t black or white for me, and to be brutally honest it isn’t the grey area either.  My views on sexuality and sexual fluidity form a galactic type of scenario inside of my mind.   

In my world my attraction to others isn’t based of off genitalia or what they choose to describe themselves as. My attraction to other humans comes from the uniqueness that person has within. It’s about who they are internally, and the mental connection that we have. It is difficult being a person with no chosen identifier, simply because a lot of times others don’t understand. I am not homosexual, nor heterosexual, nor am I any other label that falls underneath the umbrella of sexual identity. I identify as a woman, a writer, black, and a number of other things, however when it comes to relationships and dating… I had no way of figuring that out, nor do I ever want to. I’ve dated and am very open to pretty much anything that I deem fitting. I’ve had my fair share of conversations about being confused and have even had people demand that I identify myself so that they will feel more comfortable.  

It doesn’t work like that though, I can’t just place myself into a box because society says I have to. How dishonest would I be if I just claimed to be someone that I am not, nor have no desire to be.  Throughout the phases in my life I’ve transformed, and become another (albeit a much better) version of myself. I think of my journey to self discovery, and how being apart of those different subsections of sexuality helped me figure out what or who I liked.  There are women that I would marry if they asked me (hello Zoey Kravitz) and there are also men who I would love on if they came my way. However there are also gender-less folks, and those who are like me who have no set sexual preference that I am into.  

via Google 

I once thought that I was a lesbian,  a full blown rainbow wearing, hardcore lesbian… and then I dated a boy. Which lead me back to the bisexual route that I had left for lesbian land. I then decided one day that I felt like I could check more attributes off under the Pansexual subsection of the LGBTQ+ community. Until one day that wasn’t enough anymore, I didn’t fit the description under any of them.   Confusion and shame set in, and I questioned who I was entirely, if I couldn’t choose a sexual identity than what am I supposed to be? How am I supposed to tell people that having a vagina or a penis isn’t a requirement for my natural attraction to another human?  

Labeling myself and my attractions caused me to exclude others, I felt as if when I was underneath the rules of a specific label I was missing out elsewhere. I had to stop myself from liking someone because they weren’t apart of my specific grouping. How could I limit myself in such a way? Relationships come in all styles and in the form of different people.  Which is why I chose this, I chose to be limitless when it comes to defining my relationships. I choose to be as free as a bird, because love is everything.  I choose to be a harbor of gender free love, and I’m okay with that. I am who I am, and have no desire to ever change that part of me. 

Life at The Pines

By Kirsten F. 

“We call it fun, but you may call it madness”

Via Google 

started going to sleepover summer camp at age 6, I was a tiny little girl with box braids and her pooh bear under her arm. Walking hand in hand with her aunt to the covered tent that she would sleep in that week. I didn’t know then that going away every summer was going to become my favorite childhood memory. I went to summer camp every year after that, two or three weeks at a time I’d be living it up in the wilderness.  Singing songs about how tan Tarzan was, and how yodeling from a mountain top was a go to tune. Doing dance moves to the “Princess Pat” and running around lunch tables because you had bad manners.  I grew to love those tents as my own home, the dirt paths and milk machine that had a chocolate option.  There was the time where I thought there was a snake in my bed, but it was really my braid that came out.  The first time I canoed I was terrified, but the following summer I was laid out on a paddle boat floating and laughing the afternoon away. My summer at Camp Pine Valley was the best, I met lifelong friends and I was such a regular  that when I became a counselor one of my camp photos was hanging up in the office. 

I was nervous applying to be a counselor, even though I had done it before for another organization, it was something about The Girl Scouts that made me nervous. I had been a part of this organization what felt like my whole life. I was also going through a very emotional time back then. I had never had a job before and to be honest mentally I was a mess, but God knew I needed a push and that’s what was presented to me. So I went to the interview and found out it was a group interview, so I put on my fake brave face and crushed it.  I got offered the job at my home camp good ole’ Pine Valley. I packed up my things and headed towards the woods, driving down that dirt road brought back so many memories. It felt like I was that 6 year old girl again, excited for what was to come. I stepped out of my mothers car and instantly knew how to get all over that camp, it was as if I never left. I was ready for training week, and had previously spent the week at the ropes course getting trained.  I was excited to meet my fellow counselors and form a family. Which did happen and I still wish them all well. 

“I grew to love those tents as my own home, the dirt paths and milk machine that had a chocolate option.” 

That summer for me was transforming for one reason, it made me grow up.  I learned that crying about things isn’t going to change them . I learned that I in fact do not know everything, and that I need to check myself every once in awhile. I also learned that I was quit the chatty Cathy and should learn when to shut up. That experience as a counselor didn’t end with great times, but it ended with a great lesson. That summer also taught me that it doesn’t matter what age you are, you can still change a life. Those girls became my family, some like little sisters in a way, and they definitely influenced me to be a better version of myself. I spent that summer doing crafts, painting nails (and feet which I seriously despised), I learned how to make a mean S’maco and build a fire with the best of them.  I played games like big booty, and my pony, I cried at the end of camp fires, and sang barges while our candles floated across the lake. It was moments like those starry nights that reminded me why I loved camp so much as a kid. Because of the traditions, and how it always smelt like sunscreen and bug spray in the dining hall. How you never knew what kind of animal you’d meet on the trails, or how many times your hands would be bright pink from tye-dying T-shirts.  

The summers spent at The Pines are forever etched into my memories, those silly songs still find their way out of my mouth while I wash dishes, the friends made there are always on my mind, and the counselor’s who helped change my life, taught me how to do the same. I may not have been the super counselor that I was in my head, but I know for sure that the terrified 19 year old was no longer around at the end. 

“And when we are gone you’ll be singing our song.” 

My Blackness Vs Me

By Kirsten F. 

“There is nothing prideful about hating yourself, and I unlearned that behavior because my blackness is a part of who I am. “

Via Tumblr

My relationship with my blackness has been faulty at best, especially when I was younger. Growing up I never really understood the importance of what being black meant, like sure I knew I was different from all the white kids I hung out with. I was just blindly ignorant to it all until someone in my family bought me The American Girl Series about a young slave named Addy Walker. Reading about Addy and her family’s fight for freedom woke something up in me. Visualizing her and her mother running towards a better life, even though their family was split up made me see life differently. Reading about how inhumane people who looked like me were treated made me upset. It made me notice the racist things that came out of the mouths of people who I considered friends. I knew they didn’t know what they were saying because unlike me, their reality was something different.  I remember being in the third grade and having a friend of mine tell me that “ White boys don’t like black girls, because black goes with black and white goes with white.” I was crushed, because I had just told them that I had a crush on a blue eyed white boy in our class. That was almost twenty years ago and I still remember how they said it, and how it just flowed off of their tongue so effortlessly. 

 I think about the the first time I ever got called a “nigger” I was nine and I was at Girl Scout camp of all places. Who would think that I would encounter a racist at camp, I surely didn’t. This girl who was no much bigger than myself would taunt me at times, she pinched me repeatedly in the back of the camp van on our way to The Knoxville Zoo. She stood on my back as I pretended to lay down on the floor of the pool, and when I finally came up for air she acted as if she was just playing a game. Even though I knew she wasn’t and I stayed silent, because I didn’t know how to handle it.  I don’t think I ever told anyone about that, and if I did then I don’t remember… Just the incident itself.  I think that’s when I started to despise my blackness,  I hated myself because I didn’t want to be picked on by my skin color any more.  

In fifth grade my mom decided to move me to a different school district, I was leaving the place that I had known my entire life. My new school was completely different to me, because there black skin was the majority. Unfortunately for me that didn’t stop me from being an outcast, just because I was black I was always what our community calls “white-washed”. In other words, I was a black girl with white girl tendencies.  I talked “proper”, I dressed “white”, I preferred the Benji Maddens over the Lil Bow Wow’s and I was shunned for that. I was the weird black girl who shopped at hot topic and hung out with the goth kids in middle school.  It was a known fact that my label, and how people saw me was “not black enough”. In eighth grade, a group of girls who had it out for my friends called us a bunch of “white bitches”. The irony of it was that two of us were black and one of us was half Mexican. It made me laugh because even though I was black, and so were they I was now considered white. Except I wasn’t white, I didn’t get to benefit from white privilege and I still don’t.  

“ White boys don’t like black girls, because black goes with black and white goes with white.” 

High school was the same, although there I tried my hardest to fit in with the black folks and became someone that I’m not so proud of. However who I was during those four years, helped me realize that who I really am is perfectly fine. There are NO guidelines to my blackness, nor yours. I am just as black now as I was then, I am a proud member of a friend-family where we all accept one another for who we are. Black, White, and Mixed we make up our own family and will fight anyone who tells us differently. Do I still face racism of course, I’ve been told by people who considered me their friend that I wasn’t black I was just “a super tanned white girl”. I’ve been called an Oreo for the majority of my life and I used to take pride in that fact. Until one day I realized how disgusting that term is, how it is full of self hate and not pride. There is nothing prideful about hating yourself, and I unlearned that behavior because my blackness is a part of who I am. I can’t change that fact, nor do I ever want to. The older I get the more I see and understand this life. I’ve never necessarily fit into either worlds, and I’m alright with that.  I remember the first time when I realized that, I was at a house party with some friends, and I was the only black girl there. Which I was used to because growing up in my small town and having the friends that I did… That’s usually how it happened. 

At this party I was hanging out and talking to people, being the social butterfly my mama always said that I was.  It wasn’t until someone was telling a story about a guy that things got awkward.  I don’t remember the exact content of the story, but I do remember the “He’s nothing but a stupid nigger” and the stares that came with it. Every single side eye was directed towards me, and it felt like I was that stupid meme from Spongebob. It felt like I was sucked into a black hole and everyone around me was just looking at me drown. I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing… I’m still mad at myself for not saying anything. I was angry, and I was silent.  .  . Which for me, never went hand in hand. If I was mad you knew about it, but this time I was so silent I could hear my own heart beating. For the first time in my life I was mad at someone for attacking my race, even though it wasn’t directed towards me.  That was when I knew I had accepted myself and ALL of my melanin. My relationship with being black had for so long been on the back burner, and at that moment it moved up front. 

After that incident I never let people forget that at the end of the day I AM BLACK, and proud of it. You will not get away with calling me Oreo or super tanned white girl, nor will you get away with saying that I am white washed.  My blackness can not be defined by anyone other than me and I will not allow you to attempt it.  Being black is something that I can’t change, nor do I want to. The relationship I have with being a black woman has changed drastically over the years. I struggled with both worlds, white and black… I am the grey area.  

“I’m still mad at myself for not saying anything. I was angry, and I was silent.”

This isn’t a piece about hating myself, my community or hating white people. This is my way of letting myself tell my own truth, this is my personal journey at loving who I am as a black woman. I am a black woman who loves pop punk and black clothes. I am black woman who gets upset every time I turn on the news and another black body is laying dead in the street. I am a black woman who celebrates her blackness, and everything else she is no matter who has a problem with it. I am black, I am a writer, and I am also a lot of other things that unless you personally know me, you don’t need to know about. 

Leaving Home & Not Looking Back

By Kirsten F. 

“I found God in the stars on those long nights, and I found adventure in Walmart parking lots.”

Via Tumblr 

2016 has become the year of change for me, it has become one of the most significant years in my life and it just started.  I’ve always been one of those people who never really knew what direction she wanted to go in. “Free spirit” is the phrase most used to describe me and my way of living. The beginning of this year started with my 24th birthday, me packing up my car, and moving across the country to Washington state. Yes, I know that sounds absolutely insane but sometimes life throws you in directions that you never even thought about. 

January 30, 2016 became a date that began what I call “The Kirsten spiritual journey”. I packed up my little PT Cruiser and hit the open road with one of my friends. I had never driven further than and hour away and now I was making a trek across most of America. I was terrified, but content with the fact that I was leaving, because I knew it was time for me to get out of my small town. So I said goodbye to my family and friends, and drove 14 hours to Texas where I took my first pit stop on this week long excursion. The thing I remember most about Texas was thinking that I was losing my mind because that state was massive. Honestly everything really is bigger in Texas, and they have no trees. Leaving Texas the following day was when I think my nerves kicked in, I was going to be in my car for three whole days traveling to San Francisco, California. 

The second part of my trip was where I was most tested, God really threw life at me just to see if I could handle it. Which I’ll admit at times I didn’t think I could, but I did. I over came hitting tumbleweeds, and dirt storms, I over came a blizzard and driving up rocky mountains in New Mexico. I overcame a panic attack mid driving through a blizzard, because let’s be real… I’m from GA we don’t have real snow.  I overcame the fear in the back of my mind trying to tell me that I had made a mistake. That leaving was the worst idea I’ve ever had and that I should turn back now. It was then that I realized my own strength, I realized that the biggest demon in my life was fear and I refused to have a relationship with it any longer. I found happiness and peace during that time as well. Driving on empty roads with the sun shining and my car full of snacks and good tunes. I found myself feeling connected to the desert sky and the dirt covered ground. I found God in the stars on those long nights, and I found adventure in Walmart parking lots. I had never seen windmills, ranches, the rocky’s or even an In ‘N’ Out in real life before.  I got excited seeing a prairie dog run around behind a QuickTrip in Arizona, and screamed when I saw the sign pointing to L.A. blasting Mayday Parade’s “Jamie All Over” as I headed to my new life. 

Via Tumblr 

Nothing prepared me for California, the state that I had longed to see and be apart of. Driving through the valley and eating my first In ‘N’ Out burger (animal style of course). Seeing L.A. at night, and crying because I finally saw something on my bucket list. We slept in a hospital ER parking lot and almost died because of the food we ate. We left San Bernardino and hit the road to San Francisco at 2AM. I drove past forest fires, and could barely breathe due to high altitude of those Californian roads. We made pit stops at gas stations and took pictures of the sun rising over the vineyards.  I played my music loud and my windows rolled down tossing out sunflower seeds and crumbs that fell on my lap. I didn’t know then that I was also heading on my way to be tested again.  I’m terrified of bridges over water, I’ve had an irrational fear of falling to my death since I was a kid. However, that’s exactly what I drove over in SF, The Bay Bridge looked intimidating, but something in me knew that I had to conquer that fear. It was when I was half way over it, that I realized that the ONLY way to get over your fears is to do them.  I wandered the streets of San Francisco with my friends and ate pizza that tasted like it came straight from heaven. I shopped and laughed, I realized that I had in fact just driven from coast to coast and I had never felt more alive.  

It really didn’t hit me that I was actually gone until I made it to Washington. We left San Francisco and headed north, we drove through mountains and valleys,  we drove over lakes and stopped to get gas at  a station in Oregon with a man who wore all cameo and laughed when I didn’t know that in Oregon you don’t pump your own gas. We ate our weight in snacks, and those 11 hours from California to Washington seemed like a breeze compared to the three days we spent traveling from Texas to California. Moving to Washington has done more for me than Georgia ever did in my 24 years on this planet. I found myself in this small community, I found God in the mountain outside of my new bedroom window, and I found out that I am more than what I thought I once was. I left the old me in Georgia, the scared, confused, lonely version of myself. She had to stay behind because who I am now is so much better.  I lost my head in San Francisco, I found myself in the desert and I became who I am supposed to be in Washington. 

“I played my music loud and my windows rolled down tossing out sunflower seeds and crumbs that fell on my lap.”

Nothing can compare to knowing who you are, and becoming who you are meant to be. My advice to you is this,  you don’t have to leave home if you don’t want to. Nor do you have to travel far to find who you are. All you have to do is know yourself and know that what you’re destined for is nothing short of greatness. 

Who Said Being In Love With Your Best Gal Is A Bad Thing

By Kirsten F. 

Your best friend is your person, and we all have that one friend who we’re basically married to. You know that friend who can call you while they’re taking a poop. We decided to create a list of gifs to showcase our love for our best friends!

Via Google/ Comedy Central

1. Who else is going to act wild in public with you?

via Google 

nothing says your the ultimate  best friends like acting like you’ve lost your minds together while a room full of people stare at you. 

 

2. Only your BFF will appreciate your hookup stories. 

There's levels to friendship and your BFF is the only one who will truly appreciate your ho stories. She's the one who'll throw you a party after a one night stand, and she'll be the one to pretend to be your lesbian lover at the bar.  

 

3. You automatically get VIP friend privileges.

Via Google 

Nothing beats going out with your BFF and their other friends and staking claim over your spot. Is it petty? SURE, but you’ve got to let folks know that there is only one VIP spot, and it’s already taken by YOU! Which means the front seat in their car is always yours! 

 

4. You make other people uncomfortable when you talk.

Via Google 

No one ever understands friendships that are the epitome of close. So obviously you and your BFF are going to get side eyes whenever you speak to one another. Why can’t I just tell my best girl how gorgeous she is, without someone making it into something it’s not?

 

5. You will do ANYTHING for your BFF.

Via Google 

Your BFF is more than just your friend, they’re your better half… Your person. When you and your pal are on that level there is nothing that you won’t do for each other. The love is so strong that you wouldn’t care if they puked on you, because they drank too much.  Just hold their hair back and force water down their throat. 

 

6. Your BFF will always keep it real with you.

Via Google 

Who doesn’t want a friend that will always tell them the truth? That’s what friendship is right, loving people for who they are even when they mess up.  Your BFF is the person who will call you on you BS, and not apologize for it. You can say the most honest things to one another, and that’s because you love each other enough to know who the other person is. 

 

7. You never forget to remind them that they are stuck with you.

Via Google 

nce you’ve reached the ultimate BFF level, you can’t get rid of each other. No matter how often you want to push them over, they’re your person. You wouldn’t want to go through this life with any other human except them. 

Now go call your best friend,and tell them how much you love them.